Rabbi Gloria

An Intimate and loving June Wedding

June 9, 2016 by Rabbi Gloria Milner

A lovely couple contacted me many months ago to officiate their wedding. These two people were very interesting: she a lawyer with poise and creativity, he a college teacher who was originally a psychology major but now was completing his PhD in mathematics. They had known each other for 17 years and seemed already married; they were extremely easy with one another.

We first met at my apartment in NYC and then it was my turn to visit them at their house in Long Island . I love these visits because it tells me so much of what the couple is about: the treadmill machine in the den confirmed they are both runners; and all the art work on the walls – she actually sketched the drawing for her chuppah. He had traveled through 42 states in the U.S, and she had toured around Europe.

Over wine and cheese we spoke about their life together. She said her high school teacher advised her to “marry someone smarter than you and you’ll live a happy life and never be bored.” She thinks over the years they have discovered that each of them is smart in different ways and their differences make them a stronger couple. How wise. The groom wrote that his bride to be is a woman who cares for him fiercely and gives him a sense of security the like of which he has never known.

The actual wedding took place on a picture-perfect day in June at a beach club on Long Island. Seventy friends and family watched as I officiated the service that the couple and I had written together. A low-key, warm and welcoming ceremony, it was a true reflection of this wonderful couple.

A Greek Orthodox – Jewish Wedding Ceremony

May 20, 2016 by Rabbi Gloria Milner

The mother of a groom contacted me over a year ago from outside of Baltimore. She was Greek Orthodox, and was experiencing considerable trouble finding a Greek Orthodox officiant to work with a Rabbi. The bride’s family was Jewish and open to having both faiths represented. The groom’s mother, having read my blog from a few years back about combining these two faiths into one ceremony, believed I would be the right officiant for the couple.

So, we started the “get-to-know-you” process. The bride and her sister took a bus into NY in the dead of winter and we began to draft the service. Then, this spring, I traveled down by train to Baltimore to sit down with the families. We had many telephone conversations, all the while developing a warm and close relationship.

Mothers of the bride and the groom

The Greek woman, a religious person, sent me links to Greek Orthodox wedding customs; I read 50 pages of texts and, thanks to her, learned a great deal about their customs. I was amazed to see the similarities to Judaism: in circling, wine drinking and treating the bride and groom as king and queen for the day.

I drove down to the wedding this Memorial Day weekend and felt like I had known these people for a long time. The best man, or “kumbaro” in Greek, did the exchange of crowns for the couple. The crowns are joined by a ribbon which symbolizes the unity of the couple as royalty for the day.

I recited the Kiddish Scheckyanu and Seven Wedding Blessings and we said the benediction in both Hebrew and Greek. It felt like a seamless ceremony and as the groom broke the glass the audience yelled Mazel Tov and Syncharintiria, the Greek equivalent. How wonderful to be able to be present in this moment in time for two special families who will be my friends going forward!

Fabulous wedding locations and venues!

May 12, 2016 by Rabbi Gloria Milner

I have been very fortunate in the last few years to marry couples in wonderful venues! What a delight it is to experience the wedding venues people choose, the imagination that goes into some of their selections, and the fun that we all have!

Since your wedding day is a day you will remember for the rest of your life, choosing a place that is near and dear to your heart is vitally important. Whether it be a church, a synagogue, a garden, the beach, or a mountain top, it should reflect your personalities, your comfort level, and your dreams!

Here are just a few of the spots I have officiated or co-officiated recent weddings:

The North Shore of Long Island.

I recently co-officiated a lovely interfaith wedding, with a minister, at a beautiful golf club, The Creek in Locust Valley on the North Shore of Long Island. Check out this hundred year old venue; it is not only gorgeous, it is very well run. We had an incredible day and the couple were thrilled!

Read the blog

What can say? It is The Plaza Hotel in New York City! I co-officiated an incredible wedding last year at this wondrous hotel – a true landmark in New York City. I was unprepared for just how intimidating the Plaza Hotel ballroom can be. A product of the early 1900s, it boasts soaring ceilings, beautiful woodwork, detailing and amazing balconies. The decorations for the wedding were incredible: candles everywhere, flowers overflowing and lights illuminating the gold fixtures. The chupah was located on the stage, and we rehearsed as if it were a Broadway production. Lights, audio, video. And with 275 people in attendance, I truly felt like I was beginning my theatrical career.

But I concentrated on the spiritual service at hand and felt gratitude that I had been selected to lead this service in such a historic, elegant and magnificent setting.

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Rooftop of the Brooklyn Sheraton, New York City

After proposing during the 6th inning of a Yankee game, a couple I recently married chose the roof of the Brooklyn Sheraton for their big event. What fun! Although the day was overcast, by evening when the ceremony took place the sun shone and we were treated to a phenomenal sunset.

Blog: Click here

October in one of the most beautiful and famous gardens in the northeast… Yes, you can get married there! This past fall I had the pleasure of marrying a wonderful young couple, amidst the gorgeous setting of the New York Botanical Gardens in the Bronx. The colors were at peak in the area and the couple was lucky that they missed the beginning of Hurricane Sandy by one day. They had lovely weather with temperatures in the 60′s for their early evening ceremony.

Blog: Click here

Block Island, off the coast of Rhode Island

Block Island is a charmer off the coast of Rhode Island. Last summer I co-officiated a wedding ceremony for a lovely couple from Manhattan who loved the island and felt it was the only place on earth they wanted to get married. The island is family-friendly, and small enough to be negotiated with moped or bicycle. Ferries are the only means of transportation there which discourages people from bringing cars.

The old Victorian Bed and Breakfasts and grand hotels dot the bluffs and town streets and the Spring House Hotel, where we were, was wonderful. The beaches are pristine and beautiful and the weather hot and perfect for swimming.

How lucky I was to have been to officiate in paradise and meet some wonderful new friends . After the service one man came up to me and the minister with whom I was co-officiating and said “you should be on television, the two of you together are magical.” How much better could the praise be?

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FountainBleu Inn

The wedding was on the grass overlooking a lake at the FountainBleu Inn, in the Finger Lakes region of upstate New York. It is a lovingly restored, 1815 country inn with authentic antiques and beautiful grounds.

The FountainBleu Inn really is a wonderful venue, with a Tudor banquet room which seats up to 150 guests and opens on to a spacious stone patio overlooking the lake. It was a wonderful late spring day, and joy was in the air!

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Theatrical Synagogue Wedding in New York

Angel Orensanz is an 1850′s German synagogue on the Lower East Side of NYC, where many celebrities such as Sarah Jessica Parker have held their weddings.

I recently officiated a dramatic and gorgeous wedding there. This soaring space had room for three balconies and a capacity of 800 people. When the lighting was on it transported those there into another realm.

Check out my blog for all the details of this incredible day.

A Hip Brooklyn Baby Naming

April 26, 2016 by Rabbi Gloria Milner

June 25 blog + gallery
A couple called me to officiate the baby naming of their daughter who was celebrating her first birthday as well. They lived in Brooklyn and selected a Russian bar named Karloff in Cobble Hill for an afternoon ceremony. I met with them at their apartment and stayed to see them feed Eve, the baby. She was an adorable little girl who loved the healthy vegetable puree her mother had prepared.

I learned some of the people for whom she was named were great grandmothers who had suffered many hardships and for whom family closeness was paramount. One was the family matriarch who worked in a sweatshop on the Lower east side and was a player in the Yiddish theater. They chose the name Eve for its simplicity and power. The first woman on the earth and the one who gives life to all. Her middle name was chosen in honor of her grandfather Howard who was a man with a ready smile and sense of adventure. They already see evidence of these traits in Eve.

It was a warm and loving ceremony with all family members participating. Rob, the father of the baby, used the tallit from his bar mitzvah. A kiddish cup was used from a family wedding as well. And they used an old Hasidic tradition at the end of the ceremony. Family and friends were supposed to shower the child with candy and other sweets to symbolize their wishes that both the child and parents have a sweet life. So, all who attended received a little bag of candy to take home.

June 25 blog 2
The Brooklyn bar setting at Karloff’s was intimate and contemporary at the same time. The bar was beautiful and the waiters and waitresses accommodating. Lunch was served with drinks, of course, and everyone was so relaxed and welcoming. This may be setting a great trend as Brooklyn is now doing in food and community.

Thanks to Michelle Murray, photograher.

A Salsa/Jewish Interfaith wedding in New York

March 17, 2016 by Rabbi Gloria Milner

A good friend of mine, Harvey Averne, enjoyed a wonderful career as a multi-talented vibraphonist, band leader, producer and record label owner. His best friend was Larry Harlow, who is a renowned salsa-music performing composer and producer. His mother was an opera singer and father a band leader at the Latin Quarter nightclub in NYC. Falling in love with the Spanish sound, Larry left to attend school in Cuba. He went on to produce over 260 albums for Fania Records.

Among his contributions to music was his insistence on creation of a Latin Grammy award. In 2008 he was presented with a Latin Grammy Lifetime Award.

Larry planned to marry a lovely woman who had first started coming to his concerts in Cuba when she was just 15. She had been a runner there and has a striking face and athletic dancer’s body. I was delighted to officiate the interfaith wedding for them.

We held the wedding ceremony in his apartment in New York City with a few close friends. I lent them my husband’s tallit to use as the chuppah. The bride was not Jewish (as Larry is) but wanted a Jewish wedding ceremony. They did the circling to all of us singing a Yiddish wedding song, recited the Kiddish Prayer and Shehechyanu and I did the benediction at the end. It was a very emotional experience for the people present; tears of happiness streamed down the couple and friends’ cheeks. We broke out a bottle of champagne and toasted l’chaim.

The moral of the story: It is never too late to find love in your older years.

An Intimate and Spectacular NYC Wedding Ceremony

December 9, 2015 by Rabbi Gloria Milner

I recently had the good fortune to officiate an intimate, but spectacular interfaith wedding ceremony at one of the premier event spaces in New York City: Gotham at Broadway and 36^th st. It was, in its former life, Greenwich Savings Bank, built in 1922. It occupies an entire city block, boasting a spectacular domed stain glass window and dozens of Star of Davids on the ceiling, added by the Jewish builder. It is the kind of place you see in the movies; set up with flowers, candles and decorated tables, it looked amazing.

The couple getting married came from different worlds. The bride was a Jewish NYC woman brought up by sophisticated parents. She attended private school and grew up in an urban lifestyle. The groom, on the other hand, hailed from a small town of 15,000 people, in Northern England, where sheep were as common as the pigeons are in NYC. They met in the airport on the way to an event in Cabo, in Mexico. Working in Public Relations, she was covering the event for a magazine, and he was playing in a rock band at the same venue. Their friendship began and seven years later they decided to make it official.

I enjoyed getting to know them. They invited me to their apartment and we had an easy time over wine and cheese as I got to know their cat. Then, we went on to my apartment for more drinks and cheese, and wrote the service. The bride’s parents happened to live a few blocks from my apartment and invited me to dinner with them. We fell into conversation as though we had known each other many years. His parents came to NY a few days prior to the wedding and I met with them as well. His stepfather was a Vicar in England and they had asked him to read from Corinthians during the service. He had never met a woman rabbi just as I had never met a vicar. All these meetings brought a personal feeling and intimacy to the service, even though it was a large space with 250 people attending.

The capper was a Yiddish wedding song, “Tumbalalaika,” which the groom’s best friend (a band member) sang while they circled each other during the service. I worked with his friend who was singing with the string trio. Even though he was an accomplished singer, he welcomed my input. The result was moving and beautiful.

They invited me to stay for the star-studded reception and while I danced the night away, I thought how lucky I was to have such a personal glimpse into their lives and to welcome them into my life as well.

A Country Club Co-Officiation; a Warm and Loving Interfaith Wedding!

November 21, 2015 by Rabbi Gloria Milner

I was asked almost a year ago to co-officiate and interfaith wedding with a minister on the North Shore of Long Island. A beautiful golf club, The Creek in Locust Valley, was the venue which had been founded over a hundred years ago. The bride’s parents and grandparents were members and it was a place that had many wonderful memories for the family. The minister was a family friend of the bride’s parents and was most anxious to work with me to create a loving seamless service.

We met at the club, the groom’s parents apartment in the city and again the night before the wedding . We were determined that all present (many of whom had never been to a Jewish service) would feel comfortable. The minister suggested reading from the Book of Ruth which had as its theme loyalty and inclusivity between Jewish and non-Jewish people.

When it came time for the Hebrew Kiddish prayer over wine the minister handed the couple the wine goblet, read the English prayer and I did the Hebrew. We complete the service with a benediction called Aaron’s Prayer- our hands were over the bride and groom crisscrossed so that we were a tight group. It was truly inspiring.

As I took the arm of the officiant for the recessional I felt the commonality of religions and people. We truly had worked hard to make the service warm and respectful to both faiths. The response from both Jewish and Christian people afterwards confirmed my feelings. Nothing but smiling faces and loving wishes.

My Most Famous Pet Friendly Wedding

September 28, 2015 by Rabbi Gloria Milner

A couple who had been living together for 12 years decided to get married on 11/11/11. The groom hailed from Dominican Republic and was a tall, good looking, sweet man who loved animals and was working at a Pet Spa. His wife-to-be organized a non-profit shelter for dogs and was passionate about adoption of these animals. Between the couple and the bride’s parents they owned 7 dogs.

Pet Friendly Wedding

I arrived at a lovely penthouse apartment on the west side of New York City the day of the marriage to find all the dogs in attendance. They were properly dressed in pearls and bow ties and ready for the wedding to begin.

A few friends were in attendance but for the most part it was family. I used my husband’s tallit that he brought from Israel as the Chuppah and both sets of parents and some dogs were under it. The bride used a simple gold band that her father gave her mother 40 years before that he bought for $15 as they had no money at that time.

The largely Jewish service included blessings from the parents and barks from the dogs. At the end the groom broke the glass and we all had some snacks (not doggy ones) on a beautifully set table.

Down on the Farm with an Interfaith Wedding

September 12, 2015 by Rabbi Gloria Milner

A Boston-based couple called me to officiate their interfaith wedding. They decided to take over a ten-acre farm and hold the ceremony and reception in a restored barn. The cottages on the acres had been remodeled and were exquisite as was the main farm house. The barn was huge and beautifully beamed.

I happen to have a brother who lives near Boston so in visiting him I met with the couple twice in their loft apartment. Then they came down to New York to visit relatives, so we had opportunities to establish a good relationship. They were both tech managers: brilliant, hard working and on an intensive traveling schedule. They had been together for a number of years and their ease together was apparent. They were tremendous foodies as well and I loved hearing about their latest culinary adventures.

The farm was close to Lenox Massachusetts, which is a beautiful village in the Berkshires. I came up the night before the ceremony and met both families at a local bar. Everyone was so friendly and welcoming. We had written the service to include a reading by the bride’s aunt from Mark Twain on marriage. The groom’s uncle did a John Lennon reading of the song Love.

After the ceremony there was an 8-piece band rocking the night away. I danced and celebrated with them and the barn atmosphere made it feel “down home” and comfortable. They had it catered and of course, the Bar B Q, Mac and Cheese and salads were to die for. Their food expertise showed.

It was one of the most warm and loving weddings. Walking the beautiful grounds, having the ceremony in a rustic elegant farm and eating and drinking first class made it all very special. The couple’s infectious warmth and friendship made it most memorable indeed.

Interfaith Officiants in New York Work Together to Fashion a Wonderful Wedding Ceremony

August 28, 2015 by Rabbi Gloria Milner

Co-officiating an interfaith wedding

In the last year or two it has become common for interfaith marriages to involve two officiants working together to create a wonderful wedding. The bride and the groom each wants to feel that his or her religion is represented and respected.

I have worked with a number of priests over the last few years and always can call on one of them if the couple needs a Christian clergyman. I make a point if getting to know them as people so our relationship is open and easy.

I usually take responsibility for organizing meetings with the couple and the officiant using my Manhattan apartment as a meeting place. When co-officiating an interfaith wedding, these meetings are key. We discuss elements of each religion’s service and script the wedding ceremony. We try and find commonality between the religions and make sure every concern is met.

As a rabbi, co-officiating with a priest is a magical experience. During the marriage ceremony we support one another and even do the pronouncement and benediction together.

One example this team spirit is an upcoming wedding I will co-officiate with a priest this fall at the New York Athletic Club. This is an amazing coming together of interfaith officiants in New York for a magical wedding. The couple, groom Jewish and bride Catholic, contacted me with the Catholic officiant already in place. He was the priest at the church in the town her parents live and she knew him from that connection. He also was active in the New York City community training priests as he had been trained.

I contacted him and we enjoyed a lively and helpful telephone conversation. Then I suggested the couple spend time with him to work out the aspects of the Catholic service they wanted to include in our ceremony.

When the time came for the meeting of the four of us, I hosted in my Manhattan apartment. The priest was due to arrive before the couple; it is important that the two officiants develop this chemistry and commonality of viewpoint before meeting with the couple. In walked a tall, dark and handsome man in his 40s with a twinkle in his eye, and the co-officiation of priest and rabbi had officially begun! We spent some time discussing the aspects of the religious service we would be comfortable with.

The couple arrived about 40 minutes later and we proceeded to script the service. Since the bride is a practicing Catholic she had fairly definite ideas of what she wanted included. We had to work with the language a bit since “Let us Pray,” as an opening of the service, would be foreign to any Jewish person. We also decided to eliminate breaking the glass at the closing, as that would so obviously be a Jewish custom. We chose readings that would bring the two religions together and decided the priest and I would bless the couple together at the end of the service.

After about an hour of discussion we all felt that a respectful service to both religions was achieved. We will meet again closer to the wedding to finalize details. That amount of work and dedication is vital to produce a personal and dual interfaith service. But there is no easy way to achieve it, and I am grateful for the couple’s openness and the priest’s hard work with me.

It is so rewarding and so thrilling to experience this respectful blending of faiths. I can’t wait for the wedding ceremony, and the moment I walk down the aisle arm and arm with the priest.