Rabbi Gloria

Destination Wedding Rabbi for Jewish, Interfaith, and Same-Sex Weddings

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Lovely review from a lovely bride on WeddingWire!

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I co-officiated a wonderful interfaith wedding this fall at the Dolce Hotel, in Basking Ridge, N.J.  Renata, the beautiful bride, wrote me a very nice review in Wedding Wire, and I do appreciate it!

Her words from  Weddingwire.com:“My ceremony was co-officiated by Rabbi Milner, and she did a fantastic job! Rabbi Milner took the time to listen to my now-husband and me and to create a beautiful ceremony for us. I think, by far, the ceremony was the best part of my wedding, and Rabbi Milner helped make it happen! Thank you, Rabbi Milner. I would recommend Rabbi Milner for a co-officiated Jewish ceremony.”

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 Many thanks, Renata!

Here is the blog: It was such a pleasure to co-officiate a wonderful interfaith wedding this past weekend at the Dolce Hotel, in Basking Ridge, N.J.   The couple, the bride a Russian Jewish and the groom a Catholic with some Russian blood, came to me many months ago and asked if I would co- officiate with the groom’s father’s priest.  The father of the groom had attended this church for many years, and it was important to have Father Joe present at the ceremony.  I agreed, and right there in my apartment, the four of us set out to create the service. We were able to weave together the unity candle and the Baal Shem Tov’s (father of Hasidism) concept of light.  And when it came time for the Sign of Peace, I spoke about the concept of Shalom, which, of course, means peace in Hebrew but also involves a spiritual wholeness and peace of mind. READ MORE

It was such a pleasure to co-officiate a wonderful interfaith wedding this past weekend at the Dolce Hotel, in Basking Ridge, N.J. 

 

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A Jewish Fall Fantasy Wedding

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      Two Cornell law school graduates contacted me almost a year ago to plan their Jewish fall fantasy wedding for October this year.  They met at the law school, and both were enamored of fall, particularly beautiful upstate New York, where there is colorful foliage, apple picking, pumpkins, and crisp, clear air.  They planned to have the wedding near Cornell, near the Finger Lakes. 

     We met at their Hoboken apartment, and I was introduced to their dog-child: an adorable Welsh terrier who was to walk down the aisle.

     Since I enjoy destination weddings, I came up the day before their ceremony and helped with the rehearsal.  The groom, from Tennessee, had many relatives there already.  They had rented a lovely house for the family to stay in and rehearsed in the back.  Afterward, the rehearsal dinner reminded me of my own college days, with large amounts of pizza and beer to go around.

     The day of the wedding was unseasonably warm – over 70 degrees – and all the trees glistened in the sun’s rays.  They had picked a venue: TheFountainBleu Inn,, a lovingly restored 1815 country inn with authentic antiques and beautiful grounds.  The wedding was on the grass overlooking a lake.  The chupah and chairs faced the water and a panoply of multicolored trees.  The bride planned every detail of this herself while working at a high-pressure law job in NYC.  How amazing was that?

     When it came time for the bride and groom to do their vows, they prepared speeches about themselves.  The words spoken to each other were so moving and heartfelt that the bride, the groom, and the audience were reduced to tears.  We also did the Hebrew vow from the Song of Solomon.  There were readings, circling in the Jewish tradition, and breaking the glass.  They danced down the aisle after the ceremony and frolicked with their dog on acres of grass.  We were treated to a beautiful sunset  as well.

     I stayed for a wonderful reception.  Lots of dancing and warmth abounded.  The groom danced with his mother to Louis Armstrong’s “What a Wonderful World,” which, for this day in time, it certainly was.  They even treated me to a stay at the Inn on Columbia, , an amazing upscale restored home with an owner who was my personal chef the morning after.  Regretfully, I left to return to NYC.

 

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The pictures above were taken by the wedding’s wonderful photographer, Anna Simonak. Many thanks to her for allowing me to use these shots!

You can see her beautiful work here: Asimonak.smugmug.com

Prospect Park Brooklyn hosts a magical interfaith wedding ceremony

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  A bride contacted me a few months ago about officiating a small interfaith wedding ceremony in Prospect Park, Brooklyn, Labor Day weekend.  The couple had been together for 10 years, engaged for 1 year.  All their family and friends were asking, “So what is taking you so long?”  The time was right, and I met with them in my apartment to plan the service.  The groom was Jamaican, and the bride was Russian Jewish.  The groom was open to an almost entirely Jewish wedding ceremony. 

They lived and played in Brooklyn and loved the park.  I went there a few weeks ago, before the wedding, to look at the site in the park they had picked.  A small clearing overlooking the lake.  Private and quiet.  The park’s rules said you could have no more than 25 people in attendance, so it was an intimate group.

     The hand-held chupah and doing it open air were throwbacks to the traditional Jewish weddings in Europe many centuries ago.  The groom’s sister read the Sheckyanu prayer transliterated, and it was wonderful to see this slight black woman repeating the Hebrew.  All their friends, representing many nations and races,  participated in the Sheva Brachot.  The feeling at that service was one of warmth, inclusiveness, and joy for the couple.  Life in this twenty-first century should only be this wonderful.

     Afterward at the reception in a Williamsburg restaurant overlooking the Manhattan skyline I spent time getting to know their friends and family: a former correction officer at Rikers Island now working as an extra in the movies, a Burmese woman who is a resident in internal medicine at a hospital in Brooklyn, and the photographer, a lively black woman  Michelle Etwaroo was talented and user friendly to the couple and me.  And she was funny!  Instead of saying cheese for the posing, she said Mazel Tov!  Check out her website,  www.MichelleEtwaroo.com when you get a chance.

     I can only say that I returned home filled with gratitude that I could participate in the best New York can be in the vibrancy and wonder of all peoples joining together.

A Poetic, Interfaith Wedding on the Chelsea Pier

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     A couple came to me for their interfaith wedding, who had researched and rejected many rabbis they interviewed.  They had known each other for many years and were living in Manhattan.  She had grown up in Israel, and he was from the States, raised in the Christian faith.  They had definite ideas about the ceremony and service, and we set about crafting the service in my apartment during several meetings. They had decided to marry on the Chelsea Pier in New York.

     It struck me after the second or third meeting that aside from the structure of the Jewish wedding ceremony that had certain prayers and rituals that they were going to teach me some things about poetry and vows that I hadn’t known.  Sure enough they came up with three different English translations of the Seven Wedding Blessings (Sheva Brachot) and went with the most poetic and beautiful one

     They had several friends who were participating in the service and read poems by Denise Levertov, a modern poet, and one by Ann Bradstreet, who went back to the colonial days.  The most creative reading was A.A. Milne’s “Us Two,” which, of course, featured Pooh.  The last few lines of this were beautiful and relevant to the wedding and the two people getting married.  They were: “It isn’t much fun for One, but Two Can stick together,” says Pooh.  That’s how it is,” says Pooh. 

     I admired the ease with which this couple related to one another.  They supported each other and had a kindness and compassion that I rarely find.  It is as if the words of this poem and their joy in being together were one.

 

 

A Beautiful Jewish Wedding – Of My Best Friend’s Daughter!

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       I recently officiated at the Jewish wedding of a bride who is the daughter of close friends of mine, going back 35 years. When I first met the bride, a day after she was born in 1984 at NY Hospital, I was looking at her through the glass window in the baby nursery. She has long been a part of the fabric of my family’s life and is just two years older than my son. He used to enjoy playing with an ”older woman!”

   I watched her through her childhood, adolescence, and college years. She was always a woman of definite opinions. Everyone admired her spunk and confidence, even for one so young. She started dating a military man, and it turned out he had been deployed to Iraq twice. She ended up enlisting in the reserves herself and goes to an army base once a month for her commitment. I got to know him over several years they were together and grew to appreciate his sensitivity, loyalty to her, and quiet confidence. They decided to marry and asked me to officiate.

   Seeing them together is a study in complementary attributes. She bubbles over with enthusiasm and energy, and he looks at her in sheer amazement, but is beaming. Together they support and complement one another. When I spend time with them, I feel uplifted by their loving and easy relationship.

 

   The wedding was at the Brooklyn Botanical Garden the first weekend of June. The night before and even into the early morning, the rains came. But two hours before the service, the sky cleared, and it turned into a picture-perfect June day. They held the wedding in the open air, as was the traditional Jewish custom, and a lovely chamber music trio set the tone.

     It was the first wedding I conducted where I felt I might be in tears throughout because of the closeness to the family. But because the bride bounded down the aisle, all smiles and beaming, I took my cues from her and didn’t lose it.

   Her father, however, was crying throughout the service. He ended up delivering the benediction, which is done at the end of every Jewish service. It was so very touching. Afterward, the reception was warm and filled with music and love. My son and his girlfriend came in from out of town for the event. I felt like I had everyone who loved me around to celebrate this wonderful event.

 

Check out the wedding planner Leigh, who makes it all seem so easy   http://www.palmhouse.com/

A Rabbi and a Minister share an Interfaith Ceremony- How Magical

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As a Rabbi I was asked by the bride to officiate at her affirmation of vows almost a year ago.  She had already been married in a civil ceremony and was living with her now-husband in Long Island.  They took it upon themselves to get married and be independent of family, but were ready now for a larger, more public ceremony.  The bride had been raised in a Jewish home and was looking to get in touch with her roots. The groom (shown here) was of Christian background.  Indeed, the other officiant was a minister who had a parish in Long Island.

The couple came to my apartment a few times, and we spoke about the ceremony and Judaism.  I ended up giving her a menorah and Kiddish cup to help them celebrate the holidays.  They were most appreciative and were counting the days to the big event.  I arrived and met with the other officiant.  He had done very few interfaith ceremonies and was very warm and accepting of my taking the lead.  He was going to do a reading, blessing of the rings, and a benediction.  But his manner was open, and I felt that we were of the same mind and had much commonality of purpose and spirit.  Indeed, as the ceremony continued he and I were helping one another and people later remarked it seemed as if we had worked together before

As a rabbi that frequently co-officiates, this wedding embodied the best of both faiths with a minister who was reaching out to make all involved feel comfortable.  He didn’t view this as a competition but as a sign of love and commitment to the couple and to me.   That is how I felt it was truly magical.

Peace and Blessings to you
Rabbi Gloria

A Televised Happily Ever After Interfaith Marriage

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    I officiated at a marriage this past fall in Long Island, which was hastily arranged and fraught with anxiety.  The bride came from NYC and was raised in a religious Jewish household.  The groom hailed from the end of Long Island and was raised in the Christian tradition.  The socioeconomic aspects of the marriage were different as well. 

    I met with both sets of parents as well as the couple and set about creating a service that would respect both backgrounds.  Everyone involved was quite nervous to ensure everything went smoothly and without any issues.  I assured them it would.

“Timtervention: Couples Who Beat the Odds”

    The night of the wedding, the restaurant selected for the wedding was beautifully set up, and all the friends and family invited showed up excited.  I conducted the service and ensured that both faiths were represented, although there was a strong Jewish structure to it.   Afterward, we all danced the hora together and gathered around the piano and sang songs.  It was an intimate and beautiful affair.

      A few months later, I received a call from the assistant to the producer of The Revolution, a new ABC daytime show.  There was to be a segment airing on Valentine’s Day that would feature interfaith marriages that ended happily ever after, and I was selected as an interfaith officiant to pick some couples I had worked with to appear on the show.   The above couple was eager to appear, and sure enough, the taping went well.

     I watched the show a few weeks later and there they were, my couple telling their story on network television.  It was incredible.  They talked about overcoming their families’ objections and how their love and devotion to one another carried the day.   The hosts did a makeover for the bride, and I was thrilled to see the before-and-after.  She was given new clothes, makeup, and a new hip image.  Her husband was ecstatic and said they were both happy to appear nationwide to tell their story.  

I can only wish them, and all my couples, the best of luck for the future in a challenging situation that they have worked hard to make a success.

The Revolution, February 14th 2012 – Timtervention: Couples Who Beat the Odds, Part 1

 

 

      

 

       

My Most Famous Royal Wedding

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Two doctors, one from South Africa, the other born in Bulgaria, met in New York and were married this summer at the Boat House in Central Park.  It was a storybook wedding with the bride looking model-like in her Vera Wang and the groom handsome and admiring her.  Relatives from both countries were there, and we had written the service to represent both Jewish and Greek Orthodox traditions.

In the Jewish religion, the bride and groom are considered king and queen for the day of their marriage.  Guests are obliged to entertain them and make sure they are enjoying this special event.  In European small towns, the bride was carried in a chair from her home to the courtyard where she was married.  Thus, the raising of the bride and groom on chairs as if they were royalty.

In the Greek Orthodox tradition, the ceremony involves crowning.  Again, the concept of the king and queen is created by placing crowns of flowers on the couple’s heads.  At this wedding, the groom’s parents performed the crowning, and it was most touching. Following that, the groom’s father gave a magical blessing.  The couple had their own table where guests would toast them and give homage to the king and queen in between dancing to live music that kept everyone on the dance floor.

My Most Famous Wedding of Creativity

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What would you say about 2 people who meet in Boston, working for an architecture firm from two different worlds and religions? The groom is a quiet man from Michigan, from a Midwestern family with strong ties to the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor, and from a Christian tradition. The bride hails from Springfield, Massachusetts, whose love is a house her grandfather built on Lake George, where she spent summers. She was brought up Jewish.

 

I visited this house when I was officiating last summer near by. The bride added her touch by designing and renovating the kitchen. She and her fiancé designed the staircase to the balcony at the top of the house. When we were discussing the wedding, they mentioned that they were designing a modern chupaph, which is pictured here.

So it was when I met her family at the house, I saw her mother’s pottery and beautiful artwork adorning the walls. Her mother had a green thumb and was planting annuals that summer for the fall wedding. They were even creative in their choice of venue—a summer camp right on Lake George with both outdoor and indoor spaces that were rustic and beautiful.

The bride had graphic artistic talents and designed and created all the invitations and place cards for the table settings. She even designed the dress and had it made nearby. There wasn’t anything this family couldn’t put together. We spent many hours fashioning the service, and they took an active role in helping me. One can only believe that their talent, artistic skills, and cooperative mindset will bring them many years of exciting projects and marital bliss.

My Most Famous Boat Basin Wedding

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A New York City couple decided to get married at the 79th St Boat Basin in October. We met together a number of times and I was lucky enough to be cooked dinner by the groom who runs a catering company. It was divine. The day of the wedding was sunny but cold and the ceremony was outdoors overlooking the Hudson. Since many of the parent’s friends were from Florida they were very cold so I was urged to start the ceremony promptly. The only problem was that the area around the chuppah was public space that the public used to get to Riverside Park. They would run or bike and many people passed by in various types of gym clothes with bikes. We had to prevail upon a security person to make sure that they could oblige us for 25 minutes and walk around the other direction so that our ceremony was not disturbed by interested onlookers. Everyone obliged and was wonderful. The groom was busy supervising the catering as well as attending to his bride so he was the master of multi tasking. The most amazing chuppah was provided by a grandmother. This was in the family for 150 years and was originally from Canada. How magical to stand under it even if it was cold. We all went inside after the glass was broken where there were many heat lamps and wonderful food