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An Interfaith Wedding on Shelter Island – Two Sailing Companions in Love!

July 7, 2015 by Rabbi Gloria Milner

A rabbinic colleague of mine recommended a couple to me, who were planning their interfaith wedding ceremony for the end of June this year. They were currently living in Michigan, but had met in college in the East, on the first day of sailing tryouts their freshman year. Both had boats and sailing filled a great deal of their pasts.

Starting off as very good friends, it soon developed into love, and they moved out to Michigan where he had grown up, and where his family still lived.

A Shelter Island Wedding

The bride’s grandmother owned a house in Shelter Island where she spent summers sailing so it was a natural and wonderful idea to hold the wedding there. The couple used an amazing house and grounds belonging to one of the grandmother’s friends. Perched high on a hill overlooking the water, the house was nestled in many acres of grassy lawn with beautiful trees surrounding it. The ceremony and chuppah faced the water; this wedding was simply one of the most picturesque I have ever been fortunate enough to officiate. A tent was set up for the reception and a wonderful band entertained.

The bride’s and groom’s mothers had become best friends through their years of courtship, even vacationing together. When I spoke of the two traditions and families blending together I offered this actual proof as it was embodied in their relationships. This warm and generous family extended their hospitality to me, inviting me to both the rehearsal dinner and the reception.

The picture I feature here, below, is of the grandmother and her boyfriend shows up her prior model features and her striking beauty. She and her new boyfriend had both lost spouses of 50 years and clearly were in love. This combination of older and young love made this a particularly magical and touching wedding.

The beautiful grandmother and her new love

A 1st Birthday Baby Naming

June 1, 2015 by Rabbi Gloria Milner

A couple called me, last winter, to plan a baby naming for their beautiful, one-year-old daughter, Ava. The mother hailed from sunny California and had converted to Judaism. Her husband had been raised in a Jewish home and wanted to perpetuate the religion for his kids.

We met at my apartment in NYC and I learned about their lives, past and present, as parents. He lived within ten minutes of his job and could come home for lunch to be with his kids. A true modem father. She seemed to handle both children effortlessly in a laid-back, warm, and empowering manner.

The service included the grandparents reciting short prayers and lovely blessings. I led a group of 40 people present in their living room in Hine Ma Tov . The English translation is “How good and pleasing if people could sit together in unity.” We joined hands and all sang it together.

I explained that naming is a way the Jewish people have of linking the past,, present, and future, as a name of the child is taken from a deceased relative. It is the true realization of L’Dor va ‘Dor, which means “From generation to generation.”

Destination Wedding in Paradise

May 16, 2015 by Rabbi Gloria Milner

Turks and Caicos was the magical setting for a group of 50 family and friends participating in the wedding of Jodi and Brad that I officiated at the end of April. Jodi being an event planner in her day job perfected every detail of the wedding from the colors of the wedding party to the beach barbeque the night before and the barefoot beach ceremony at sunset.

I felt immediately welcomed by their friends all of whom had many years connection with them and were ecstatic to be there. Brad is an outgoing, compassionate and loving man and someone who knows how to enjoy life. His friends loved to party with him in the past and wasted no time doing the same that weekend. Jodi’s close women friends were loyal and adoring of her- eager to make sure this wedding would be special. Speeches at the reception and beach picnic by friends and family showed how respected and loved this couple is.

Jodi’s parents had divorced over 25 years ago and both remarried. The two new sets of couple parents got along with each other like long lost friends. It was amazing to see and admire these couples treating each other and Jodi and Brad with attention, love and affection. They were solicitous of me as well and wanted to make sure I was having a good time and made me part of this extended family.

After the reception night which had much dancing, drinking and photo ops we all met for brunch the next day. I made many new friends and the sun, sea and sand brought out the best in everyone. How lucky I was to be on this island officiating the wedding of two wonderful people.

Off to the Races at a Saratoga Wedding

May 7, 2015 by Rabbi Gloria Milner

The beautiful and picturesque town of Saratoga has long been a retreat for health and sports with its mineral springs and horse racing in August. FDR had come there for the baths suffering with polio. In fact, the venue for the wedding I officiated was located inside 2000 acres of parkland dedicated during FDR’s term in office for the public to hike, camp, picnic and enjoy nature.

The rehearsal dinner was held at the track but it was only July. What was this about? I learned that the trotters run in July preparatory to the season opening. How exciting to have this wonderful buffet trackside and watch beautiful horses round the bend.

The next day dawned bright and sunny and was one of the many heat wave days July brought us this summer. But a 5pm start and lots of Saratoga water in blue bottles did the trick for the guests. I co-officiated with a local minister after working with him and the couple to write the service over a number of months. It went off lovingly.

A visit to Saratoga is not complete without a tour of the baths. The local bus driver drove a number of us around who were staying at the hotel and we saw and tasted the mineral waters. Then we saw the spa/bath facilities that are booked weeks ahead. Refreshed spiritually and physically and with a few dollars still in my pocket I returned to NYC.

A Priest and a Rabbi Co-Officiate a Wedding Ceremony in Puerto Rico

May 2, 2015 by Rabbi Gloria Milner

This spring I flew down to Puerto Rico to co-officate the wedding ceremony of a woman who met her man at Duke University 9 years ago. She was from a small town in Puerto Rico, raised Catholic and ended up being a brililant geneticist with a PhD. She met her husband to be at graduate school at Duke where he was going to law school. He was from a conservative Jewish home with a father who was raised Orthodox. During those 9 years they were apart a good amount as he was working in South America, and he learned Spanish as well as Portugese. They decided to marry and do the destination wedding so that her family could all attend.

The priest that they selected was originally born in the Bronx and came to Puerto Rico when he was seven years old. He was warm and welcoming and his first words to the congregation unsolicited by me were “Shabbat Shalom” And then he proceeded to explain the meaning of the word Shalom to those in the audience that were not familiar with it. With the couple’s help he put together a program of the service in Spanish, English and then i added the Hebrew. So we were officiating in three languages.

When it came time for the Kiddish prayer he handed me the kiddish cup without my asking him and made it seem as natural as if he was conducting mass. I said a few words about him and his congregation and we worked together on the blessings and the readings. At the end of the service we embraced the couple and each other and i stayed a while to speak to him about his parrish and his work. It was wonderful how seamless the service was and how whatever rituals and prayers we did from both religions flowed naturally.

Blessings and peace,

Rabbi Gloria Milner

Central Park Wedding in Bloom: Rabbi Gloria Officiates An Interfaith Marriage

April 28, 2015 by Rabbi Gloria Milner

A couple contacted me from Miami to do a wedding at the Central Park Conservatory Garden in April this year. They had met 11 years before and their paths had gone in separate directions. After reconnecting it didn’t take long for the groom to say “This is the woman I want to marry.”

They got engaged in Central Park and decided they also wanted to get married there so they could return and relive the moment. It was an interfaith marriage ceremony and the groom’s father wanted to read from Corinthians which we put in as part of the service.

The prior day was cold and rainy and the day of their wedding was cloudy in the morning but by the time the ceremony was due to start the sun started peeking out of the clouds. The Conservatory Garden at 105th and 5th Ave is a public space that the couple rented. In full bloom, the cherry trees and flowers were exquisite in their pinks and whites.

The small group of people assembled was relaxed and warm; there was a laid back, relaxed feeling to the event. Because it was a public space we had as many onlookers as guests at the ceremony. I felt as though I had performed a wedding for many more people than the ones invited. There is nothing more gorgeous than a Central Park wedding in bloom; it was a truly beautiful day!

An appreciative bride and groom made my job a delight and I can’t wait to visit Miami and catch up with them.

What is the “Chuppah” in a Jewish Wedding Ceremony?

March 19, 2015 by Rabbi Gloria Milner

The beautiful and unique “chuppah,” from the Hebrew word, חוּפָּה, is one of the most recognizable parts of a Jewish wedding ceremony. The chuppah symbolizes the new home that the couple will share as husband and wife, and consists of a canopy attached to four poles which are either stationary or held by chuppah bearers. This canopy is often gorgeous, made of beautifully colored velvet, lace, tulle, or even silk. It is sometimes covered by a Jewish prayer shawl, known as a tallit.

During a Jewish wedding ceremony, the bride and groom stand under the chuppah. Just as Abraham and Sarah’s tent was open on all sides to welcome people, the chuppah also represents hospitality to the couple’s guests. In a spiritual sense, the canopy over the chuppah symbolizes God’s presence over the covenant of marriage.

Since in Orthodox Judaism, it is ideal that there open sky directly above the chuppah, wedding ceremonies are often held outdoors.

It is a wonderful experience, for me as a Rabbi, to be part of this beautiful tradition. Under the chuppah are wine, cups and a glass that will be broken. I recite blessings and prayers, oversee the giving of the ring or rings, and share aloud the Ketubah, a type of Jewish prenuptial agreement, outling the rights and responsibilities of the groom, in relation to the bride. I may read poetry and lead the couple in the vows they have chosen.

It is a thrilling and almost mystical experience to help orchestrate these moments, combining two lives in such a traditional and powerful way.

Interfaith Wedding: How Two Religions Can Coexist in a Moment of Time

January 15, 2015 by Rabbi Gloria Milner

Two months ago a couple came to me and said they are getting married in a short period of time and could I do the wedding. He was an Israeli born man, living in New York and not affiliated with any synagogue. His wife to be was from California but lived many places in the world including a 4 year stint in South Korea where she taught English. She was brought up Christian but did not practice. They had tried to find a rabbi to marry them but most had turned them down due to the interfaith nature of the marriage. They then chose the Ethical Culture Society in New York City which embodied their values to hold the service.

I worked with them in my apartment to fashion the service and found out that the bride’s parents and relatives had embraced Fundamentalist Christianity. She said that they were really signed on to Judaism as the “Old Testament” the Torah was very important to them. They were familiar with all the stories and history of the matriarchs and patriarchs of Judaism. I thought this would be interesting to have Christian people so involved with some of the prayers I would speak about on the wedding day.

The groom had arranged for an amazing traditional Jewish ceremony that could harken back to the European small villages throughout the centuries. When guests arrived a Klezmer band was playing all the traditional Yiddish melodies. He had selected the family of the bride to be the carriers of the Chupah- one on each side of the four poles. They were grateful to have this honor. The Israeli family who flew in from Israel for the wedding did the Kiddish, Sheckyanu and the Seven wedding blessings. The mother of the bride did a Christian prayer and all were under the chuppah together.

The bride’s niece was speaking to me before the service, a lovely girl of 8 all dressed up. She explained this was her first wedding- and it was a Jewish wedding something she never expected to attend. She asked me who I was and I said I was the rabbi. She said “Where is your black coat and black hat ?” I explained that was the tradition of very religious Jews and only men wore them. She was very excited to actually meet a rabbi and told me that she was going home in a day or two and was going to write an essay about what a wonderful experience she had at this wedding. Out of the mouths of babes sometimes comes amazing truths and questions. I thought to myself how beautifully the two families got along and I wished life could be some seamlessly connected among different religions. I guess we have to settle for a few moments of beauty.

The Wonderful Baseball Wedding in New York

November 14, 2014 by Rabbi Gloria Milner

A Baseball Wedding!

A Jersey guy and a girl from Florida met at a bar in Atlantic City that he was managing at the time. The Yankees were usually not on the TBS network, but were that night in the bar. She stayed to watch because they were being shown. The rest as they say is baseball history.

They went to a game on their first date and continued their romance via bus from NYC to Atlantic City on the Greyhound.

He proposed during the 6th inning of a Yankee game and they and their friends all went out afterwards to celebrate.

This wonderful baseball wedding was held on a beautiful rooftop of the Brooklyn Sheraton. While the day was overcast, by evening, when the ceremony took place, the sun shone and we were treated to a phenomenal sunset.

In keeping with the baseball tradition his good friend carried his own child who carried a baseball mitt in one hand. In the mitt were – you guessed it – the rings! The child was the ring bearer.

At the end we all yelled “Play Ball.” A very happy ending to this “game ” of love.

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Officiating a Theatrical Synagogue Wedding in New York

October 5, 2014 by Rabbi Gloria Milner

Angel Orensanz is an 1850’s German synagogue on the Lower East Side of NYC. It was a working synagogue until the 1970’s when the drug dealers and homeless occupied it. Two brothers many years later bought the structure and restored it to its former glory. Many celebrities such as Sarah Jessica Parker had their weddings there. Whitney Houston recorded there and a Smash episode of a Bollywood dance hall was filmed there. Imagine my surprise when a couple who lived on the lower east side a block away had told me they reserved this space a year ahead and wanted me to officiate the synagogue wedding.

He was a New Yorker and she was of Russian descent. They had to bring in all the food and tables and chairs. They selected great Russian food from the Cabaret/Supper Club Rasputin in Brooklyn and Bar B Q from a vendor in Manhattan. It turned out to be a magical combination of tastes and colors. They also selected a Klezmer band that walked down the aisle after the glass was broken reminiscent of the small village weddings in Eastern Europe. And the space was soaring with room for three balconies and a capacity of 800 people. When the lighting was on it transported those there into another realm (see the picture).

I visited them in their apartment and we fashioned the service so that all their relatives and friends could participate. Seven different people read the Sheva Brachot (7 blessings) in Hebrew and English, the groom’s grandmother read a touching poem,and the bride and groom created their own personal vows. I felt like I was the facilitator of an amazing event that many people shared in. I can only say how privileged i was to be introduced to this venue by the couple and hope to preside there again.