Jewish Ceremony

A Snowy Interfaith New York October Wedding

January 25, 2014 by Rabbi Gloria Milner

A wonderful couple came to see me about their fall wedding this past year. She was of Russian descent and he was from a Midwestern family with roots in the states. I learned that at the time the bride’s parents were married in Russia they had to do so in secret in a basement. Religion was banished by the government and they wanted a Jewish ceremony They came to this country and her father is now a violinist with a symphony orchestra. Her mother is a cultured and very stylish French teacher.

The venue selected was the Metropolitan Building in Long Island City. It is a turn of the century factory that was renovated but all original flooring, moldings and grand ballroom like spaces kept intact. It overlooks the East River. I especially liked the antique furniture that was placed there by the owner a former antique dealer. The bathroom held a claw footed bathtub, more like a boudoir than a public rest room.

I co officiated with a priest who is charming and funny. We worked seamlessly as a team and at the end of the service he took my hand and we walked down the aisle together. The guests cheered us . The bride’s violinist father played when the couple was circling each other as is a Jewish custom. A friend of the couple’s sang the Sheva Brachot in magnificent voice. It was so wonderful for me to watch the bride’s parents’ faces beam at this grand event. No small basement room wedding but 150 guests toasting

What made the wedding more dramatic was the day of the event there was a freak NYC snowstorm. The weather should have been autumn perfect as the trees were in full splendor of oranges and golds. Instead a fierce Noreaster blanketed the city with several inches of snow. I trudged to the affair in winter boots and heavy ski jacket to protect me from a gale like wind. I changed clothes in the antique bathroom and heard guests telling of their adventures getting to the wedding. Since most of the bride’s parent’s friends were from the West Coast they hadn’t brought very warm clothes.

So what do Russian people do to celebrate a joyous occasion and keep warm in the winter? Drink vodka, eat blini and toast away the night. We all did just that. It will be a memorable wedding for all to remember in many ways.

A Baby Naming Ceremony! My Brides and Grooms Having Children.

April 28, 2013 by Rabbi Gloria Milner

I love to see my brides and grooms having children!

I officiated at the interfaith wedding, two years ago, of two lawyers. One was brought up Catholic, the other one Jewish. I co-officiated with a wonderful Catholic priest, Father Tom who had been the family priest. We worked on the service with the bride and groom and it was warm, witty and personal. Even the day’s weather cooperated at sunset on a rooftop in Tribeca. I got to know both sets of parents and felt that the families welcomed me into the event.

How amazing it was when I received the email from the bride that she had a little girl some months back and wanted me to do a baby-naming ceremony with the priest. It was Father Tom and I again at a historic building in Park Slope this winter. We had the opportunity to plan an interfaith baby-naming and it was my first one. I visited the couple who lived in a former church converted into a condo in Brooklyn. The sun through the stain glass windows and the soaring ceilings made it a magical place. They had much input deciding to do blessings themselves and give honors to their parents and grandparents. Tom and I filled in the blanks with prayers and blessings ourselves. The ceremony was enjoyed by Emily their daughter of seven months. She didn’t cry through the whole thing, so I guess we did something right.

I find myself fortunate to connect with my past brides and grooms and be at these wonderful events of the next generation they have produced. The fact that another officiant can work with me to produce a spiritual inclusive service is something I am proud of.

Lovely review from a lovely bride on WeddingWire!

December 6, 2012 by Rabbi Gloria Milner

I co-officiated a wonderful interfaith wedding this fall at the Dolce Hotel, in Basking Ridge N.J. Renata, the beautiful bride, wrote me a very nice review in Wedding Wire, and I do appreciate it!

Her words from Weddingwire.com: “My ceremony was co-officiated by Rabbi Milner and she did a fantastic job! Rabbi Milner took the time to listen and meet with my now-husband and me and created a beautiful ceremony for us. I think by-far, the ceremony was the best part of my wedding and Rabbi Milner helped bring it about! Thank you, Rabbi Milner. I would recommend Rabbi Milner for a co-officiated Jewish ceremony.”

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Many thanks, Renata!

Here is the blog: It was such a pleasure to co-officiate a wonderful interfaith wedding this past weekend at the Dolce Hotel, in Basking Ridge N.J. The couple, bride Russian Jewish and the Groom Catholic with some Russian blood came to me many months ago and asked if I would co- officiate with the groom’s father’s priest. The father of the groom had attended this church for many years and it was important to have Father Joe present at the ceremony. I agreed and right there in my apartment the four of us set out to create the service. We were able to weave together the unity candle and the Baal Shem Tov’s (father of Hasidism) concept of light. And when it came time for the Sign of Peace I spoke about the concept of Shalom which of course means peace in Hebrew but also involves a spiritual wholeness and peace of mind. READ MORE

It was such a pleasure to co-officiate a wonderful interfaith wedding this past weekend at the Dolce Hotel, in Basking Ridge N.J.

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A Jewish Fall Fantasy Wedding

October 23, 2012 by Rabbi Gloria Milner

Two Cornell law school graduates contacted me almost a year ago to plan their Jewish fall fantasy wedding for October this year. They met at the law school and both were enamored of the fall season particularly beautiful upstate New York, where there is colorful foliage, apple picking, pumpkins and crisp clear air. They planned to have the wedding near Cornell, near the Finger Lakes.

We met at their Hoboken apartment and I was introduced to their dog-child: an adorable Welsh terrier who was to walk down the aisle.

Since I enjoy destination weddings, I came up the day before their ceremony and helped with the rehearsal. The groom, from Tennessee, had many relatives there already. They had rented a lovely house for family to stay in and did the rehearsal in the back of the house. Afterwards the rehearsal dinner reminded me of my own college days with large amounts of pizza and beer to go around.

The day of the wedding was unseasonably warm – over 70 degrees – and all the trees glistened in the sun’s rays. They had picked a venue: The FountainBleu Inn, which was a lovingly restored, 1815 country inn with authentic antiques and beautiful grounds. The wedding was on the grass overlooking a lake. The chupah and chairs faced the water and a panoply of multicolored trees. The bride planned every detail of this herself while working at a high pressure law job in NYC. How amazing was that?

When it came time for the bride and groom to do their vows they prepared speeches about themselves. The words spoken to each other were so moving and heartfelt that both bride, groom and audience were reduced to tears. We also did the Hebrew vow from the Song of Songs King Solomon. There were readings, circling in the Jewish tradition and breaking the glass. They danced up the aisle after the end of the ceremony and frolicked with their dog on the acres of grass. We were treated to a beautiful sunset as well.

I stayed for a wonderful reception. Lots of dancing and warmth abounded. The groom danced with his mother to L0uis Armstrong’s “It’s a wonderful world” which for this day in time it certainly was. They even treated me to a stay at the Inn on Columbia, an amazing upscale restored home with an owner who was my personal chef the morning after. Regretfully I left to return to NYC.

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The pictures above were taken by the wedding’s wonderful photographer, Anna Simonak. Many thanks to her for the use of these shots!

You can see her beautiful work here: Asimonak.smugmug.com

Prospect Park Brooklyn hosts a magical interfaith wedding ceremony

September 5, 2012 by Rabbi Gloria Milner

A bride contacted me a few months ago about officiating a small interfaith wedding ceremony in Prospect Park, Brooklyn, Labor Day weekend. The couple had been together 10 years, engaged one year. All their family and friends were asking “so what is taking you so long?” The time was right and I met with them in my apartment to plan the service. The groom was Jamaican and the bride Russian Jewish. The groom was open to an almost entirely Jewish wedding ceremony.

They lived and played in Brooklyn and loved the park. I went there a few weeks ago before the wedding to look at the site in the park they had picked. A small clearing overlooking the lake. Private and quiet. The rules of the park were you could have no more than 25 people in attendance and so it was an intimate group.

The hand-held chupah and doing it open air were throwbacks to the traditional Jewish weddings in Europe many centuries ago. The groom’s sister read the Sheckyanu prayer transliterated and it was wonderful to see this slight black woman repeating the Hebrew. All their friends representing many nations and races participated in the Sheva Brachot. The feeling at that service was one of warmth, inclusiveness and joy for the couple. Life in this twenty first century should only be this wonderful.

Afterward at the reception in a Williamsburg restaurant overlooking the Manhattan skyline I spent time getting to know their friends and family: a former correction officer at Rikers Island now working as an extra in the movies, a Burmese woman who is a resident in internal medicine at a hospital in Brooklyn, and the photographer, a lively black woman Michelle Etwaroo was talented and user friendly to the couple and me. And she was funny! Instead of saying cheese for the posing she said Mazel Tov! Check out her website, www.MichelleEtwaroo.com when you get a chance.

I can only say that I returned home filled with gratitude that I could participate in the best New York can be in the vibrancy and wonder of all peoples joining together.

A Poetic, Interfaith Wedding on the Chelsea Pier

August 29, 2012 by Rabbi Gloria Milner

A couple came to me for their interfaith wedding, who had researched and rejected many rabbis they interviewed. They had known each other many years and were living in Manhattan. She had grown up in Israel and he was from the States raised in the Christian faith. They had definite ideas about the ceremony and service and we set about fashioning the service in my apartment during a number of meetings. They had decided to marry on the Chelsea Pier in New York.

It struck me after the second or third meeting that aside from the structure of the Jewish wedding ceremony that had certain prayers and rituals that they were going to teach me some things about poetry and vows that I hadn’t known. Sure enough they came up with three different English translations of the Seven Wedding Blessings (Sheva Brachot) and went with the most poetic and beautiful one

They had a number of friends who were participating in the service and read poems by Denise Levertov, a modern poet and one by Ann Bradstreet who went back to the colonial days. The most creative reading was by A.A. Milne “Us Two” which of course involved Pooh. The last few lines of this were beautiful and relevant to the wedding and the two people getting married. They were “It isn’t much fun for One, but Two Can stick together,” says Pooh, says he. That’s how it is,” says Pooh.

I admired the ease at which this couple related to one another. They supported each other and had a kindness and compassion that I rarely find. It is as if the words of this poem and their joy in being together were one.

A Beautiful Jewish Wedding – Of My Best Friend’s Daughter!

June 18, 2012 by Rabbi Gloria Milner

I recently officiated at the Jewish wedding of a bride who is the daughter of close friends of mine, going back 35 years. When I first met the bride, a day after she was born in 1984 at NY Hospital, I was looking at her through the glass window in the baby nursery. She has long been a part of the fabric of my family’s life and is just two years older than my son. He used to enjoy playing with an ”older woman!”

I watched her through her childhood, adolescence and college years. She was always a woman of definite opinions. Everyone admired her spunk and confidence even for one so young. She started dating a military man and it turned out he had been deployed to Iraq twice. She ended up enlisting in the reserves herself and goes once a month to an army base for her commitment. I got to know him over their several years together and grew to appreciate his sensitivity, loyalty to her, and his quiet confidence. They decided to marry and asked me to officiate.

Seeing them together is a study in complimentary attributes. She bubbles over with enthusiasm and energy and he looks at her in sheer amazement, but is beaming. Together they support and compliment one another. When I spend time with them I feel uplifted by their loving and easy relationship.

The wedding was at the Brooklyn Botanical Garden the first weekend of June. The night before and even into the early morning the rains came. But two hours before the service the sky cleared and it turned into a picture-perfect June day. They did the wedding in the open air, as was the traditional Jewish custom and they had a lovely chamber music trio setting the tone.

It was the first wedding I conducted where I felt I might be in tears throughout because of the closeness to the family. But because the bride bounded down the aisle, all smiles and beaming I took my cues from her and didn’t lose it.

Her father, however, was crying throughout the service . He ended up delivering the benediction which is done at the end of every Jewish service. It was so very touching. Afterwards the reception was warm and filled with music and love. My son and his girlfriend came in from out of town for the event. I felt like I had everyone who loved me around to celebrate this wonderful event.

Check out the wedding planner Leigh who makes it all seem so easy http://www.palmhouse.com/

My Most Famous Royal Wedding

January 25, 2012 by Rabbi Gloria Milner

Two doctors, one from South Africa, the other born in Bulgaria met in New York and were married this summer at the Boat House in Central Park. It was a story book wedding with the bride looking model like in her Vera Wang and the groom handsome and admiring her. Relatives from both countries were there and we had written the service with both the Jewish and the Greek Orthodox traditions represented.

In the Jewish religion the bride and groom are considered king and queen for the day of their marriage. Guests are obliged to entertain them and make sure they are enjoying this special event. In European small towns the bride was carried in a chair from her home to the courtyard where she was married. Thus the raising the bride and groom on chairs as if they were royalty.

In the Greek Orthodox tradition the ceremony involves crowning. Again, the concept of the king and queen is created by placing crowns of flowers on the heads of the couple. At this wedding the parents of the groom did the crowning and it was most touching. Following that crowning the groom’s father gave a blessing which was magical. The couple had their own table where guests would toast them and give homage to the king and queen in between dancing to live music that kept everyone on the dance floor.