Rabbi Gloria

Independent Seattle Rabbi: Destination Weddings · Interfaith Weddings · Jewish Weddings · Baby Namings

interfaith wedding

A New York City Love Story

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A New York City Love StoryI officiated a wedding for a lovely Russian groom three years ago in Manhattan. His brother contacted me almost a year ago to say he wanted me to officiate this past July in Long Island City at the Foundry a wonderful industrial event space.

His meeting of the bride read like a movie script that could only take place in New York City. His bride was vacationing from Australia and went to a bar two nights before she was to return home. She met her husband to be there and after spending many hours with him changed her plane tickets. They saw each other constantly, and he flew to Australia to meet her parents.

Seven months after their meeting they decided to marry and I worked with them on the service. She was raised Christian and wanted her mother to do a reading from the New Testament as well as a Unity Candle. Her parents, siblings and dog flew from Melbourne and planned the wedding in short notice.

As evidenced by their beaming faces this one ecstatic couple. They plan to live here for the moment but Australia is not out of the picture. Where else but NY can a drink at a bar change someone’s life?

Interfaith News article featuring Rabbi Gloria

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wedding ringsOn the NYU Journalism Projects Newsroom site, Rabbi Gloria was featured in an article about Independent Rabbis performing Interfaith Ceremonies. Here is an excerpt:

“When Ashley Howard, 33, and Ramit Singh, 35, married in September, they had two ceremonies – one Jewish, one Hindu.

Although they originally planned one ceremony combining customs from each religion, their parents did not approve of the arrangement.

‘They said, ‘either have no tradition at all, or do it right’,’ Howard said.

The couple opted for tradition, with modern modifications. A priest conducted a Hindu ceremony in both Hindi and English. The Jewish ceremony was lead by Gloria Milner, an independent, Manhattan-based rabbi who is unaffiliated with a standard Jewish denomination.

Rabbi Milner is one of more than a dozen independent Jewish clergy in the New York area who specialize in officiating for interfaith couples, according to TheKnot.com. A majority of American Jews are married to someone outside the faith, according to a 2013 study by the Pew Research Center, and officiants like Rabbi Milner fill a void often left by traditional Jewish institutions.

Orthodox and Conservative rabbis are not permitted to marry interfaith couples. Reform rabbis, who represent American Judaism’s largest denomination, according to Pew, may do so at their own discretion. Just over half do, estimated Rabbi Hara Person, chief strategy officer at the Central Conference of American Rabbis.

However, mainstream Judaism’s reluctance to accept intermarriage has not stopped its prevalence. The intermarriage rate rose every decade between 1970 and 2000, and stabilized at 58 percent between 2000 and 2013, according to Pew.

A recent analysis released in June by the Jewish People Policy Institute utilizing Pew’s data found that nearly three-quarters of married, non-ultra-orthodox Jews in their 30s have a non-Jewish spouse. That rate still holds true today, according to Steven M. Cohen, research professor of Jewish Social Policy at Hebrew Union College–Jewish Institute of Religion.

Rabbi Milner, who has been officiating for eight years, presides over about 20 weddings per year, and she estimated that 70 percent of the couples she officiates for are interfaith. She frequently co-officiates with clergy from other faiths.

Several years ago, she conducted a ceremony combining Jewish and Greek Orthodox wedding traditions for a couple who had trouble finding a traditional officiant from either faith. She penned a blog about the ceremony after. ‘I became this expert in Greek-Jewish weddings,’ she said, ‘so a lot of people contacted me that had this same problem.'”

Read the full article here:
For Interfaith Couples, Independent Rabbis Fill Void Left By Jewish Institutions

An Indian Jewish Destination Wedding

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interfaith-jewish-hindu-brideA year ago I was contacted by a couple that was referred by another bride and groom I married in the past. He was Indian, multi talented, being a lawyer, entrepreneur, and band manager all rolled up in one. She was Jewish, a world traveler, and yoga consultant to corporations.

We met at my apartment and started planning the service. I then met her mother who visited her from Florida and got to know another family member. The Groom’s mother was deeply interested in having a traditional ritual Indian wedding and the Jewish family wanted a spiritual Jewish service as well.

interfaith-jewish-hindu-bothThe couple decided that the Indian service would be in the morning with a Hindu priest officiating in English as well as using Sanskrit prayers. He would explain all the rituals in English. It would start with the groom atop a white horse coming to the venue and then dismounting and walking to the ceremony with his parents.

The Jewish service was humanistic with prayers over wine, thanksgiving prayer, and seven blessings. The benediction was given at the end and the glass was broken. I attended the Indian service in the morning and was able to incorporate what I witnessed into my service that afternoon. There were so many commonalities. The canopy Jews call a Chupah was a Mandap in the Indian service. They circled around as the Jewish 7 circles. The groom stepped on a clay pot in much the same way as the Jewish service has the breaking of the glass. And the parents sit under the mandap as the parents participate under the chuppah.

interfaith-jewish-hindu-groomI was blessed to officiate this wedding and learn so much about the Hindu religion and service. The destination was Beacon NY which was picture perfect September weather. The day before I visited DIA Beacon, an amazing modern art museum and walked the beautiful country paths. How lucky I was to be a part of this wonderful weekend wedding!

Destination Interfaith Wedding in Cape May

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KetubahA couple contacted me over a year ago and asked if I would officiate an interfaith wedding in Cape May. The Bride’s family owned a vacation home there and she had been going to this town since childhood. I had always wanted to visit this historic Victorian village myself and in meeting with the couple was impressed with their warmth and sincerity. It was a go.

 

bride and groom in Cape MayWe worked on the service at my apartment in NYC and theirs in Brooklyn. We talked about the closeness they felt for their respective families and the Christian/Jewish backgrounds they came from. Finally our collaboration produced a wonderful service. Part of it was a section where bride and groom wrote a series of paragraphs about each other. Using humor and pathos they fashioned a profile of the other quite personal and heartfelt. The picture included here reflects this.

Bride and Groom on the beach in Cape MayThe wedding day was glorious weather wise and they were married at a yacht club overlooking the water. Low key and elegant the wedding was a joy to attend.

I had been invited to a brunch the next morning at her parent’s home which was a large well appointed house. Her 85 year old grandmother and I bonded and I met many new friends there I hope to see in the fall. All in all a beach vacation of sorts for me and a labor of love.

A Greek Orthodox – Jewish Wedding Ceremony

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The mother of a groom contacted me over a year ago from outside of Baltimore.  She was Greek Orthodox, and was experiencing considerable trouble finding a Greek Orthodox officiant to work with a Rabbi.  The bride’s family was Jewish and open to having both faiths represented.  The groom’s mother, having read my blog from a few years back about combining these two faiths into one ceremony, believed I would be the right officiant for the couple.

So, we started the “get-to-know-you” process.  The bride and her sister took a bus into NY in the dead of winter and we began to draft the service. Then, this spring, I traveled down by train to Baltimore to sit down with the families. We had many telephone conversations, all the while developing a warm and close relationship. 

Mothers of the bride and the groom

The Greek woman, a religious person, sent me links to Greek Orthodox wedding customs;  I read 50 pages of texts and, thanks to her, learned a great deal about their customs.  I was amazed to see the similarities to Judaism: in circling, wine drinking and treating the bride and groom as king and queen for the day.

I drove down to the wedding this Memorial Day weekend and felt like I had known these people for a long time.  The best man, or “kumbaro”  in Greek, did the exchange of crowns for the couple.  The crowns are joined by a ribbon which symbolizes the unity of the couple as royalty for the day.

I recited the Kiddish Scheckyanu and Seven Wedding Blessings and we said the benediction in both Hebrew and Greek.  It felt like a seamless ceremony and as the groom broke the glass the audience yelled Mazel Tov and Syncharintiria,  the Greek equivalent.  How wonderful to be able to be present in this moment in time for two special families who will be my friends going forward!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Down on the Farm with an Interfaith Wedding

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 Feb 11 2015 blog 3

A Boston-based couple called me to officiate their interfaith wedding. They decided to take over a ten-acre farm and hold the ceremony and reception in a restored barn. The cottages on the acres had been remodeled and were exquisite as was the main farm house. The barn was huge and beautifully beamed.

I happen to have a brother who lives near Boston so in visiting him I met with the couple twice in their loft apartment. Then they came down to New York to visit relatives, so we had opportunities to establish a good relationship. They were both tech managers: brilliant, hard working and on an intensive traveling schedule. They had been together for a number of years and their ease together was apparent. They were tremendous foodies as well and I loved hearing about their latest culinary adventures.

Feb 11 2015 blog 2The farm was close to Lenox Massachusetts, which is a beautiful village in the Berkshires. I came up the night before the ceremony and met both families at a local bar.  Everyone was so friendly and welcoming. We had written the service to include a reading by the bride’s aunt from Mark Twain on marriage. The groom’s uncle did a John Lennon reading of the song Love.

After the ceremony there was an 8-piece band rocking the night away. I danced and celebrated with them and the barn atmosphere made it feel “down home” and comfortable. They had it catered and of course, the Bar B Q, Mac and Cheese and salads were to die for. Their food expertise showed.

Feb 11 2015 blog 1It was one of the most warm and loving weddings. Walking the beautiful grounds, having the ceremony in a rustic elegant farm and eating and drinking first class made it all very special. The couple’s infectious warmth and friendship made it most memorable indeed.