Rabbi Gloria Milner

A Poetic, Interfaith Wedding on the Chelsea Pier

August 29, 2012 by Rabbi Gloria Milner

A couple came to me for their interfaith wedding, who had researched and rejected many rabbis they interviewed. They had known each other many years and were living in Manhattan. She had grown up in Israel and he was from the States raised in the Christian faith. They had definite ideas about the ceremony and service and we set about fashioning the service in my apartment during a number of meetings. They had decided to marry on the Chelsea Pier in New York.

It struck me after the second or third meeting that aside from the structure of the Jewish wedding ceremony that had certain prayers and rituals that they were going to teach me some things about poetry and vows that I hadn’t known. Sure enough they came up with three different English translations of the Seven Wedding Blessings (Sheva Brachot) and went with the most poetic and beautiful one

They had a number of friends who were participating in the service and read poems by Denise Levertov, a modern poet and one by Ann Bradstreet who went back to the colonial days. The most creative reading was by A.A. Milne “Us Two” which of course involved Pooh. The last few lines of this were beautiful and relevant to the wedding and the two people getting married. They were “It isn’t much fun for One, but Two Can stick together,” says Pooh, says he. That’s how it is,” says Pooh.

I admired the ease at which this couple related to one another. They supported each other and had a kindness and compassion that I rarely find. It is as if the words of this poem and their joy in being together were one.

A Beautiful Jewish Wedding – Of My Best Friend’s Daughter!

June 18, 2012 by Rabbi Gloria Milner

I recently officiated at the Jewish wedding of a bride who is the daughter of close friends of mine, going back 35 years. When I first met the bride, a day after she was born in 1984 at NY Hospital, I was looking at her through the glass window in the baby nursery. She has long been a part of the fabric of my family’s life and is just two years older than my son. He used to enjoy playing with an ”older woman!”

I watched her through her childhood, adolescence and college years. She was always a woman of definite opinions. Everyone admired her spunk and confidence even for one so young. She started dating a military man and it turned out he had been deployed to Iraq twice. She ended up enlisting in the reserves herself and goes once a month to an army base for her commitment. I got to know him over their several years together and grew to appreciate his sensitivity, loyalty to her, and his quiet confidence. They decided to marry and asked me to officiate.

Seeing them together is a study in complimentary attributes. She bubbles over with enthusiasm and energy and he looks at her in sheer amazement, but is beaming. Together they support and compliment one another. When I spend time with them I feel uplifted by their loving and easy relationship.

The wedding was at the Brooklyn Botanical Garden the first weekend of June. The night before and even into the early morning the rains came. But two hours before the service the sky cleared and it turned into a picture-perfect June day. They did the wedding in the open air, as was the traditional Jewish custom and they had a lovely chamber music trio setting the tone.

It was the first wedding I conducted where I felt I might be in tears throughout because of the closeness to the family. But because the bride bounded down the aisle, all smiles and beaming I took my cues from her and didn’t lose it.

Her father, however, was crying throughout the service . He ended up delivering the benediction which is done at the end of every Jewish service. It was so very touching. Afterwards the reception was warm and filled with music and love. My son and his girlfriend came in from out of town for the event. I felt like I had everyone who loved me around to celebrate this wonderful event.

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A Rabbi and a Minister share an Interfaith Ceremony- How Magical

May 1, 2012 by Rabbi Gloria Milner

As a Rabbi I was asked by the bride to officiate at her affirmation of vows almost a year ago. She had already been married civilly and was living with her now husband in Long Island. They took it upon themselves to get married and be independent of family but were ready now for a larger, more public ceremony. The bride had been raised in a Jewish home and was looking to get in touch with her roots. The groom (shown here) was of Christian background. Indeed the other officiant was a minister who had a parish in Long Island.

The couple came to my apartment a few times and we spoke about the ceremony and Judaism. I ended up giving her a menorah and Kiddish cup to help them celebrate the holidays. They were most appreciative and were counting the days to the big event. I arrived and met with the other officiant. He had done very few interfaith ceremonies and was very warm and accepting of my taking the lead. He was going to do a reading, blessing of the rings, and a benediction. But his manner was open and I felt that we were of the same mind and had much commonality of purpose and spirit. Indeed as the ceremony continued he and I were helping one another and people later remarked it seemed as if we had worked together before

As a rabbi that frequently co-officiates, this wedding embodied the best of both faiths with a minister who was reaching out to make all involved feel comfortable. He didn’t view this as a competition but as a sign of love and commitment to the couple and to me. That is how I felt it was truly magical.

Peace and Blessings to you Rabbi Gloria