chuppah

A Salsa/Jewish Interfaith wedding in New York

March 17, 2016 by Rabbi Gloria Milner

A good friend of mine, Harvey Averne, enjoyed a wonderful career as a multi-talented vibraphonist, band leader, producer and record label owner. His best friend was Larry Harlow, who is a renowned salsa-music performing composer and producer. His mother was an opera singer and father a band leader at the Latin Quarter nightclub in NYC. Falling in love with the Spanish sound, Larry left to attend school in Cuba. He went on to produce over 260 albums for Fania Records.

Among his contributions to music was his insistence on creation of a Latin Grammy award. In 2008 he was presented with a Latin Grammy Lifetime Award.

Larry planned to marry a lovely woman who had first started coming to his concerts in Cuba when she was just 15. She had been a runner there and has a striking face and athletic dancer’s body. I was delighted to officiate the interfaith wedding for them.

We held the wedding ceremony in his apartment in New York City with a few close friends. I lent them my husband’s tallit to use as the chuppah. The bride was not Jewish (as Larry is) but wanted a Jewish wedding ceremony. They did the circling to all of us singing a Yiddish wedding song, recited the Kiddish Prayer and Shehechyanu and I did the benediction at the end. It was a very emotional experience for the people present; tears of happiness streamed down the couple and friends’ cheeks. We broke out a bottle of champagne and toasted l’chaim.

The moral of the story: It is never too late to find love in your older years.

An Interfaith Wedding on Shelter Island – Two Sailing Companions in Love!

July 7, 2015 by Rabbi Gloria Milner

A rabbinic colleague of mine recommended a couple to me, who were planning their interfaith wedding ceremony for the end of June this year. They were currently living in Michigan, but had met in college in the East, on the first day of sailing tryouts their freshman year. Both had boats and sailing filled a great deal of their pasts.

Starting off as very good friends, it soon developed into love, and they moved out to Michigan where he had grown up, and where his family still lived.

A Shelter Island Wedding

The bride’s grandmother owned a house in Shelter Island where she spent summers sailing so it was a natural and wonderful idea to hold the wedding there. The couple used an amazing house and grounds belonging to one of the grandmother’s friends. Perched high on a hill overlooking the water, the house was nestled in many acres of grassy lawn with beautiful trees surrounding it. The ceremony and chuppah faced the water; this wedding was simply one of the most picturesque I have ever been fortunate enough to officiate. A tent was set up for the reception and a wonderful band entertained.

The bride’s and groom’s mothers had become best friends through their years of courtship, even vacationing together. When I spoke of the two traditions and families blending together I offered this actual proof as it was embodied in their relationships. This warm and generous family extended their hospitality to me, inviting me to both the rehearsal dinner and the reception.

The picture I feature here, below, is of the grandmother and her boyfriend shows up her prior model features and her striking beauty. She and her new boyfriend had both lost spouses of 50 years and clearly were in love. This combination of older and young love made this a particularly magical and touching wedding.

The beautiful grandmother and her new love

What is the “Chuppah” in a Jewish Wedding Ceremony?

March 19, 2015 by Rabbi Gloria Milner

The beautiful and unique “chuppah,” from the Hebrew word, חוּפָּה, is one of the most recognizable parts of a Jewish wedding ceremony. The chuppah symbolizes the new home that the couple will share as husband and wife, and consists of a canopy attached to four poles which are either stationary or held by chuppah bearers. This canopy is often gorgeous, made of beautifully colored velvet, lace, tulle, or even silk. It is sometimes covered by a Jewish prayer shawl, known as a tallit.

During a Jewish wedding ceremony, the bride and groom stand under the chuppah. Just as Abraham and Sarah’s tent was open on all sides to welcome people, the chuppah also represents hospitality to the couple’s guests. In a spiritual sense, the canopy over the chuppah symbolizes God’s presence over the covenant of marriage.

Since in Orthodox Judaism, it is ideal that there open sky directly above the chuppah, wedding ceremonies are often held outdoors.

It is a wonderful experience, for me as a Rabbi, to be part of this beautiful tradition. Under the chuppah are wine, cups and a glass that will be broken. I recite blessings and prayers, oversee the giving of the ring or rings, and share aloud the Ketubah, a type of Jewish prenuptial agreement, outling the rights and responsibilities of the groom, in relation to the bride. I may read poetry and lead the couple in the vows they have chosen.

It is a thrilling and almost mystical experience to help orchestrate these moments, combining two lives in such a traditional and powerful way.