A couple phoned me two weeks before Christmas this year who were friends of a couple I married three years ago in Cooperstown, NY. The bride and groom were living in LA presently but had grown up on the East Coast.
Their interfaith wedding ceremony was scheduled for June 2014 but the bride’s father, who had been living with Parkinson’s for five years, took a turn for the worst and had been hospitalized most of the last five months. The bride wanted to move up the ceremony to the end of December to make sure he was well enough to participate.
I worked with them remotely by phone and email for the next two weeks. We scripted an interfaith wedding service, but I left much to do pending seeing them in Boston, where the girl’s family lived and the father was hospitalized. I went to the hospital that Saturday morning and met with the bride, groom , mother and sister first. They filled me in about his illness, his past as a celebrated psychologist, and their lives together. I had already learned much about the bride and groom on our lengthy telephone calls.
The bride’s sister, a doctor specializing in infectious diseases, had flown in from Africa to witness this ceremony and she added a great deal, as well.
Then on to meet the father in the conference room of his hospital floor. He was present with us and I explained who I was and a little about the service. I went back to my hotel after the time with them and the service flowed out.
Sunday morning was the wedding, in a beautiful wood paneled conference room at the hospital which had a lovely view. The father was wheeled into the room in a wheelchair with a sign on the back of it “Father of the Bride.” The aides on the floor had made it for him. The Christian mother of the groom constructed her first chupah and did an amazing job.
The sister of the bride had a two-and-a-half year old son who was the ring bearer, dressed in an adorable suit. Immediate family were present, including the groom’s brother, who had just come from his own hospital bed with an emergency appendectomy.
The father was able to walk his daughter down the aisle and the service began. I described what love and warmth I felt and how lucky he was to have such a wonderful family behind him. When we said the Sheckyanu prayer of thanksgiving we had to give out tissues for all. The bride and groom wrote little speeches about each other, and when reading them, they teared up. When I did the benediction blessing I wrapped a tallit or prayer shawl around bride, groom and father and offered a blessing of health for him.
Following the service the father gave a beautiful toast to the couple and the hospital nurses remarked how much he had improved in the last few days. His doctor came to offer congratulations.
For me, as an independent Rabbi in New York City, after several years of officiating interfaith weddings, it was among the most meaningful and satisfying ceremony I have ever performed.
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And many thanks to Sarah and Owen for their lovely note to me which I received when they returned from their honeymoon: