Rabbi Gloria

Independent Seattle Rabbi: Destination Weddings · Interfaith Weddings · Jewish Weddings · Baby Namings

planning wedding ceremonies

An Intimate and Spectacular NYC Wedding Ceremony

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dec 9 2014 FIVE

I recently had the good fortune to officiate an intimate, but spectacular interfaith wedding ceremony at one of the premier event spaces in New York City: Gotham at Broadway and 36th st.  It was, in its former life, Greenwich Savings Bank, built in 1922. It occupies an entire city block, boasting a spectacular domed stain glass window and dozens of Star of Davids on the ceiling, added by the Jewish builder.  It is the kind of place you see in the movies; set up with flowers, candles and decorated tables, it looked amazing.

The couple getting married came from different worlds.  The bride was a Jewish NYC woman brought up by sophisticated parents. She attended private school and grew up in an urban lifestyle.  The groom, on the other hand, hailed from a small town of 15,000 people, in Northern England,  where sheep were as common as the pigeons are in NYC.  They met in the airport on the way to an event in Cabo, in Mexico.  Working in Public Relations, she was covering the event for a magazine, and he was playing in a rock band at the same venue.  Their friendship began and seven years later they decided to make it official.

dec 9 2014I enjoyed getting to know them.  They invited me to their apartment and we had an easy time over wine and cheese as I got to know their cat.  Then, we went on to my apartment for more drinks and cheese, and wrote the service. The bride’s parents happened to live a few blocks from my apartment and invited me to dinner with them.  We fell into conversation as though we had known each other many years.  His parents came to NY a few days prior to the wedding and I met with them as well.  His stepfather was a Vicar in England and they had asked him to read from Corinthians during the service.  He had never met a woman rabbi just as I had never met a vicar.  All these meetings brought a personal feeling and intimacy to the service,  even though it was a large space with 250 people attending.

dec 9 2014 TWO

 The capper was a Yiddish wedding song, “Tumbalalaika,” which the groom’s best friend (a  band member)  sang while they circled each other during the service.  I worked with his friend who was singing with the string trio.  Even though he was an accomplished singer, he welcomed my input. The result was moving and beautiful.

They invited me to stay for the star-studded reception and while I danced the night away, I thought how lucky I was to have such a personal glimpse into their lives and to welcome them into my life as well.

 

dec 9 2014 THREE

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Interfaith Officiants in New York Work Together to Fashion a Wonderful Wedding Ceremony

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Co-officiating an interfaith wedding

In the last year or two it has become common for interfaith marriages to involve two officiants working together to create a wonderful wedding.  The bride and the groom each wants to feel that his or her religion is represented and respected.

 I have worked with a number of priests over the last few years and always can call on one of them if the couple needs a Christian clergyman.  I make a point if getting to know them as people so our relationship is open and easy.

I usually take responsibility for organizing meetings with the couple and the officiant using my Manhattan apartment as a meeting place. When co-officiating an interfaith wedding, these meetings are key.  We discuss elements of each religion’s service and script the wedding ceremony.  We try and find commonality between the religions and make sure every concern is met.

As a rabbi, co-officiating with a priest is a magical experience.  During the marriage ceremony we support one another and even do the pronouncement and benediction together.

One example this team spirit is an upcoming wedding I will co-officiate with a priest this fall at the New York Athletic Club. This is an amazing coming together of interfaith officiants in New York for a magical wedding.  The couple, groom Jewish and bride Catholic, contacted me with the Catholic officiant already in place.  He was the priest at the church in the town her parents live and she knew him from that connection.  He also was active in the New York City community training priests as he had been trained.  

I contacted him and we enjoyed a lively and helpful telephone conversation.  Then I suggested the couple spend time with him to work out the aspects of the Catholic service they wanted to include in our ceremony.

When the time came for the meeting of the four of us, I hosted in my Manhattan apartment.  The priest was due to arrive before the couple; it is important that the two officiants develop this chemistry and commonality of viewpoint before meeting with the couple. In walked a tall, dark and handsome man in his 40s with a twinkle in his eye, and the co-officiation of priest and rabbi had officially begun!  We spent some time discussing the aspects of the religious service we would be comfortable with.

The couple arrived about 40 minutes later and we proceeded to script the service. Since the bride is a practicing Catholic she had fairly definite ideas of what she wanted included. We had to work with the language a bit since “Let us Pray,” as an opening of the service, would be foreign to any Jewish person.  We also decided to eliminate breaking the glass at the closing, as that would so obviously be a Jewish custom. We chose readings that would bring the two religions together and decided the priest and I would bless the couple together at the end of the service.

After about an hour of discussion we all felt that a respectful service to both religions was achieved.  We will meet again closer to the wedding to finalize details. That amount of work and dedication is vital to produce a personal and dual interfaith service. But there is no easy way to achieve it, and I am grateful for the couple’s openness and the priest’s hard work with me.  

It is so rewarding and so thrilling to experience this respectful blending of faiths. I can’t wait for the wedding ceremony, and the moment I walk down the aisle arm and arm with the priest.