Ceremonies

A New York City couple decided to get married at the 79th St Boat Basin in October. We met together a number of times and I was lucky enough to be cooked dinner by the groom who runs a catering company. It was divine. The day of the wedding was sunny but cold and the ceremony was outdoors overlooking the Hudson. Since many of the parent’s friends were from Florida they were very cold so I was urged to start the ceremony promptly. The only problem was that the area around the chuppah was public space that the public used to get to Riverside Park. They would run or bike and many people passed by in various types of gym clothes with bikes. We had to prevail upon a security person to make sure that they could oblige us for 25 minutes and walk around the other direction so that our ceremony was not disturbed by interested onlookers. Everyone obliged and was wonderful. The groom was busy supervising the catering as well as attending to his bride so he was the master of multi tasking. The most amazing chuppah was provided by a grandmother. This was in the family for 150 years and was originally from Canada. How magical to stand under it even if it was cold. We all went inside after the glass was broken where there were many heat lamps and wonderful food

I was to officiate at the Brooklyn Botanic Garden this past summer and the bride and groom planned all months ahead. We worked on the service, saw their apartment and even met with both sets of parents beforehand. The day of the wedding arrived and the night was magical. The Brooklyn Botanic garden was filled with roses and the ceremony was to be held in a lovely grassy area in a grove of trees. The family had arranged to have two buses transport the guests from hotels in lower New York. The first bus arrived and groups of people stood admiring the beautiful scene sipping champagne and listening to the strains of chamber music. We soon got wind of the fact that the second bus was in a fender bender in Chinatown and had to wait for the police to show up to the accident. Meanwhile the venue planner told us that we had to start the ceremony soon as there were no lights set up- the original ceremony was to have taken place before sunset. We waited and finally the bus arrived- the people scurried to their seats and I began. By the time the service was 3/4 finished the area was pitch black but I was able to read with the help of the videographer who had his light shine on me. The groom broke the glass- mazel tovs were exchanged and we all looked up at a perfect full moon that illuminated the beautiful scene.

Many of us who have lived in NYC for years are always looking for the new experience, the street we may ever have walked down, etc.  The Lotus Club, a private former Vanderbilt mansion was one such experience for me.  A couple contacted me and said that venue was where they wanted to hold the wedding.  It began as a writer’s club in the late 1800’s with such members as Mark Twain. Later a Vanderbilt purchased the museum for her daughter as a wedding gift.

The couple met with me a number of times and planned a magical wedding.  The groom was  raised Jewish and the bride Catholic.  I was co-officiating with a Franciscan priest dressed up in a Friar Tuck looking brown robe with hood.  It is amazing how rituals can have a  commonality  in the religions when you look into it.  The prayer that Aaron the  high priest used to bless the Jewish people “May god bless and keep you…” was adopted by the Catholic church and often said at the end of mass

We entered a grand hallway in this mansion and looked up to see a magnificent Tiffany window.  The room we signed the Ketubah and civil license was a wooden paneled library with massive chairs and mahogany table.  The ceremonial room was elegant and one could think many magical dinner parties were held there.  In attending the reception I was taken back in time to the grandeur of the 1890’s and the elegance of the Vanderbilts.

I officiated at a wedding of a couple at the Grammercy Park Hotel in NYC in May of this year which was a spectacular event on many levels. The couple picked the rooftop garden which has a retractable roof and several rooms with couches and comfortable chairs.  The bride felt that after the ceremony she wanted people to mingle and not be forced to sit at designated tables. That set the tone for the night along with the beauty of the city skyline.

Music was important to both of them. The grooms’s day job was in the IT business which took him to London and Washington D.C. frequently. But he played the saxophone and his passion was jazz-older jazz from the 30’s, 40’s and 50’s. He played with many groups and scattered among the guests in the audience were jazz musicians each with an unusual story. Indeed, the music prior to the ceremony was recorded vintage Ella Fitzgerald and Billie Holiday.

The bride among her many amazing jobs had been Puff Daddy’s assistant before he changed his name.  She loved salsa music and was a great dancer as well.  Before the ceremony started they had a female gospel singer perform one of the bride’s favorite songs.  This  was the start of a memorable and musical night.

When asked about how she decided upon Frankie’s Italian restaurant in Carroll Gardens Brooklyn as the venue for her wedding the bride replied, “People and food matter to me more than things and pretension.” Indeed this wonderful Italian restaurant is intimate, family run and the food is served family style.

I went there with the couple a few weeks prior to the wedding and since no reservations are accepted we waited about a half hour to be seated. The food was simply made, graciously served and delicious. Most of Brooklyn seemed to feel that way as the line to get a table always seemed to be long whatever hour of the night.

When their wedding day came and I arrived at the restaurant the garden in the back was turned into a wedding space. A huge horseshoe shaped table that could fit all the guests invited was set up and there were trellises with flowers and white lights to light up the night.  People came from many different states and cities and the intimate setting made all feel like one family.

The seven wedding blessings or Sheva Brachot of the Jewish service were done by seven different friends/family who wrote modern versions of these ancient prayers as it applied to the couple.  It was truly magical.  The vows were hand written and personal that the couple put together. Afterwards we all had cocktails in a barn like building adjacent to the restaurant whose rustic flavor fit right in with the tone of the wedding.

How wonderful to have a small, personal and family oriented wedding and have the food match the tone of the celebration.

What would you say about a Muslim Turkish bride marrying an orthodox Jewish groom on the balcony overlooking Mets stadium? Only in New York folks, only in New York as the New York Post loves to say. Beyhan the bride had come here to study for her MBA and worked at Starbucks to support herself. There she meets Michael the manager of the Starbucks and they start a relationship. He was most admiring of her independence to leave all her friends and family in Turkey and come here by herself to embark on a new life. He was also impressed with her beauty- both outside and in.

He had grown up in Long Island playing baseball and talking sports with his friends from the time he could speak. The first thing he did when he came home from school was log on to the Mets website to get the latest stats, scores or trades. As he grew older he and his friends followed the team to such cities as Pittsburgh and San Diego. This is one zealous fan. He decided he wanted to be married on the balcony overlooking Citifield and Beyhan agreed.

We wrote the service together, the three of us and one of Beyhan’s friends who is Ecuadorian, walked her down the aisle. Michael used a family Kiddish cup and all parts of the Jewish wedding ceremony were included. We found a wedding poem by the Arab poet Rumi that spoke about creation and Jacob and Joseph. Amazing what commonality one can find in different religious traditions.

They hoped for a picture perfect sunny day but it was windswept and rainy instead. That did not dampen anyone’s spirits and prior to breaking the glass we all yelled”Play Ball.”