Rabbi Gloria

Independent Seattle Rabbi: Destination Weddings · Interfaith Weddings · Jewish Weddings · Baby Namings

Ceremonies

Same Sex Wedding in Upper Manhattan

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Glasses, Sparkling Wine, Cheers, Sun Set, Evening     

A colleague of mine recommended that two women call me to arrange for a same sex wedding in NYC.  They had such an interesting story.  They had both been previously married and were living in the mountain area of North Carolina.  Their common work field was speech pathology.  I spoke to each of them and we started working on the service.  They were raising two boys, 9 and 7, who were going to be the ring bearers.  The 20-something daughter of one of the women was an actress in the city who they decided would read the English version of the Sheva Brachot.  Her boyfriend, an actor, was the videographer.

     As luck would have it the brother of the bride owned a restaurant in Inwood where a small group of about 20 friends and family assembled.  With the strains of Frank Sinatra in the background as part of the restaurant vibe, I conducted a ceremony and declared them Wife and Wife.  They spoke the vows they had written, then broke two glasses, and many tears and laughter were  a part of this special service!  

     Before the meal began we celebrated Shabbat together with candle lighting, prayer over the bread and wine and I blessed all present. I stayed for a wonderful dinner and they presented me with a beautiful gift of handicrafted slate and wood that a craftsman from the town had done.  As i rode back downtown on the A-train their warmth and love pervaded me.  

Mazel Tov and Best Wishes to them!

 

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A Baby Naming Ceremony! My Brides and Grooms Having Children.

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     I love to see my brides and grooms having children!    

     I  officiated at the interfaith wedding, two years ago, of two lawyers. One was brought up Catholic, the other one Jewish.   I co-officiated with a wonderful Catholic priest, Father Tom who had been the family priest.  We worked on the service with the bride and groom and it was warm, witty and personal.   Even the day’s weather cooperated at sunset on a rooftop in Tribeca.  I got to know both sets of parents and felt that the families welcomed me into the event.

    How amazing it was when I received the email from the bride that she had a little girl some months back and wanted me  to do a baby-naming ceremony  with the priest.   It was Father Tom and I again at a historic building in Park Slope this winter.  We had the opportunity to plan an interfaith baby-naming and it was my first one.   I visited the couple who lived in a  former church converted into a condo in Brooklyn.  The sun through the stain glass windows and the soaring ceilings made it a  magical  place.  They had much input deciding to do blessings themselves and give honors to their parents and grandparents.  Tom and I filled in the blanks with prayers and blessings ourselves. The ceremony was enjoyed by Emily their daughter of seven months. She didn’t cry through the whole thing, so I guess we did something right.  

     I find myself fortunate to connect with my past brides and grooms and  be at these wonderful events of the next generation they have produced.  The fact that another officiant can work with me to produce a spiritual inclusive service is something  I am proud of.

baby naming april 2013

 

      

 

 

Lovely review from a lovely bride on WeddingWire!

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I co-officiated a wonderful interfaith wedding this fall at the Dolce Hotel, in Basking Ridge N.J.  Renata, the beautiful bride, wrote me a very nice review in Wedding Wire, and I do appreciate it!

http://wwcdn.weddingwire.com/static/6.6.36/images/logo/ww-logo-246x109.pngHer words from  Weddingwire.com:    “My ceremony was co-officiated by Rabbi Milner and she did a fantastic job! Rabbi Milner took the time to listen and meet with my now-husband and me and created a beautiful ceremony for us. I think by-far, the ceremony was the best part of my wedding and Rabbi Milner helped bring it about! Thank you, Rabbi Milner. I would recommend Rabbi Milner for a co-officiated Jewish ceremony.”

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 Many thanks, Renata!

Here is the blog: It was such a pleasure to co-officiate a wonderful interfaith wedding this past weekend at the Dolce Hotel, in Basking Ridge N.J.   The couple, bride Russian Jewish and the Groom Catholic with some Russian blood came to me many months ago and asked if I would co- officiate with the groom’s father’s priest.  The father of the groom had attended this church for many years and it was important to have Father Joe present at the ceremony.  I agreed and right there in my apartment the four of us set out to create the service. We were able to weave together the unity candle and the Baal Shem Tov’s (father of Hasidism) concept of light.  And when it came time for the Sign of Peace I spoke about the concept of Shalom which of course means peace in Hebrew but also involves a spiritual wholeness and peace of mind. READ MORE

It was such a pleasure to co-officiate a wonderful interfaith wedding this past weekend at the Dolce Hotel, in Basking Ridge N.J. 

 

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A Jewish Fall Fantasy Wedding

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      Two Cornell law school graduates contacted me almost a year ago to plan their Jewish fall fantasy wedding for October this year.  They met at the law school and both were enamored of the fall season particularly beautiful upstate New York, where there is colorful foliage, apple picking, pumpkins and crisp clear air.  They planned to have the wedding near Cornell, near the Finger Lakes. 

     We met at their Hoboken apartment  and I was introduced to their dog-child: an adorable Welsh terrier who was to walk down the aisle.

     Since I enjoy destination weddings, I came up the day before their ceremony and helped with the rehearsal.  The groom, from Tennessee, had many relatives there already.  They had rented a lovely house for family to stay in and did the rehearsal in the back of the house.  Afterwards the rehearsal  dinner reminded me of my own college days with large amounts of pizza and beer to go around.

     The day of the wedding was unseasonably  warm – over 70 degrees – and all the trees glistened in the sun’s rays.  They had picked a venue: The FountainBleu Inn, which was a lovingly restored, 1815 country inn with authentic antiques and beautiful grounds.  The wedding was on the grass overlooking a lake.  The chupah and chairs faced the water and a panoply of multicolored trees.  The bride planned every detail of this herself while working at a high pressure law job in NYC.  How amazing was that?

     When it came time for the bride and groom to do their vows they prepared speeches about themselves.  The words spoken to each other were so moving and heartfelt that both bride, groom and audience were reduced to tears.  We also did the Hebrew vow from the Song of Songs King Solomon.  There were readings, circling in the Jewish tradition and breaking the glass.  They danced up the aisle after the end of the ceremony and frolicked with their dog on the acres of grass.  We were treated to a beautiful sunset  as well.

     I stayed for a wonderful reception.  Lots of dancing and warmth abounded.  The groom danced with his mother to L0uis Armstrong’s “It’s a wonderful world” which for this day in time it certainly was.  They even treated me to a stay at the Inn on Columbia, an amazing upscale restored home with an owner who was my personal chef the morning after.  Regretfully I left to return to NYC.

 

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The pictures above were taken by the wedding’s wonderful photographer, Anna Simonak. Many thanks to her for the use of these shots!

You can see her beautiful work here: Asimonak.smugmug.com

Prospect Park Brooklyn hosts a magical interfaith wedding ceremony

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  A bride contacted me a few months ago about officiating a small interfaith wedding ceremony in Prospect Park, Brooklyn, Labor Day weekend.  The couple had been together 10 years, engaged one year.  All their family and friends were asking “so what is taking you so long?”  The time was right and I met with them in my apartment to plan the service.  The groom was Jamaican and the bride Russian Jewish.  The groom was open to an almost entirely Jewish wedding ceremony. 

They lived and played in Brooklyn and loved the park.  I went there a few weeks ago before the wedding to look at the site in the park they had picked.  A small clearing overlooking the lake.  Private and quiet.  The rules of the park were you could have no more than 25 people in attendance and so it was an intimate group.

     The hand-held chupah and doing it open air were throwbacks to the traditional Jewish weddings in Europe many centuries ago.  The groom’s sister read the Sheckyanu prayer transliterated and it was wonderful to see this slight black woman repeating the Hebrew.  All their friends representing many nations and races  participated in the Sheva Brachot.  The feeling at that service was one of warmth, inclusiveness and joy for the couple.  Life in this twenty first century should only be this wonderful.

     Afterward at the reception in a Williamsburg restaurant overlooking the Manhattan skyline I spent time getting to know their friends and family: a  former correction officer at Rikers Island now working as an extra in the movies, a Burmese woman who is a resident in internal medicine at a hospital in Brooklyn, and the photographer, a lively black woman  Michelle Etwaroo  was talented and user friendly to the couple and me.  And she was funny!  Instead of saying cheese for the posing she said Mazel Tov!  Check out her website,  www.MichelleEtwaroo.com when you get a chance.

     I can only say that I returned home filled with gratitude that I could participate in the best New York can be in the vibrancy and wonder of all peoples joining together.

A Poetic, Interfaith Wedding on the Chelsea Pier

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     A couple came to me for their interfaith wedding, who had researched and rejected many rabbis they interviewed.  They had known each other many years and were living in Manhattan.  She had grown up in Israel and he was from the States raised in the Christian faith.  They had definite ideas about the ceremony and service and we set about fashioning the service in my apartment during  a number of meetings. They had decided to marry on the Chelsea Pier in New York.

     It struck me after the second or third meeting that aside from the structure of the Jewish wedding ceremony that had certain prayers and rituals that they were going to teach me some things about poetry and vows that I hadn’t known.  Sure enough they came up with three different English translations of the Seven Wedding Blessings (Sheva Brachot) and went with the most poetic and beautiful one

     They had a number of friends who were participating in the service and read poems by Denise Levertov, a modern poet and one by Ann Bradstreet who went back to the colonial days.  The most creative reading was by A.A. Milne “Us Two”  which of course involved Pooh.  The last few lines of this were beautiful and relevant to the wedding and the two people getting married.  They were   “It isn’t much fun for One, but Two Can stick together,” says Pooh,  says he.  That’s how it is,” says Pooh. 

     I admired the ease at which this couple related to one another.  They supported each other and had a kindness and compassion that I rarely find.  It is as if the words of this poem and their joy  in being together were one.

 

 

A Beautiful Jewish Wedding – Of My Best Friend’s Daughter!

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       I recently officiated at the Jewish wedding of a bride who is the daughter of close friends of mine, going back 35 years. When I first met the bride, a day after she was born in 1984 at NY Hospital, I was looking at her through the glass window in the baby nursery. She has long been a part of the fabric of my family’s life and is just two years older than my son. He used to enjoy playing with an ”older woman!”

   I watched her through her childhood, adolescence and college years. She was always a woman of definite opinions. Everyone admired her spunk and confidence even for one so young. She started dating a military man and it turned out he had been deployed to Iraq twice. She ended up enlisting in the reserves herself and goes once a month to an army base for her commitment. I got to know him over their several years together and grew to appreciate his sensitivity, loyalty to her, and his quiet confidence. They decided to marry and asked me to officiate.

   Seeing them together is a study in complimentary attributes. She bubbles over with enthusiasm and energy and he looks at her in sheer amazement, but is beaming. Together they support and compliment one another. When I spend time with them I feel uplifted by their loving and easy relationship.

 

   The wedding was at the Brooklyn Botanical Garden the first weekend of June. The night before and even into the early morning the rains came. But two hours before the service the sky cleared and it turned into a picture-perfect June day. They did the wedding in the open air, as was the traditional Jewish custom and they had a lovely chamber music trio setting the tone.

     It was the first wedding I conducted where I felt I might be in tears throughout because of the closeness to the family. But because the bride bounded down the aisle, all smiles and beaming I took my cues from her and didn’t lose it.

   Her father, however, was crying throughout the service . He ended up delivering the benediction which is done at the end of every Jewish service. It was so very touching. Afterwards the reception was warm and filled with music and love. My son and his girlfriend came in from out of town for the event. I felt like I had everyone who loved me around to celebrate this wonderful event.

 

Check out the wedding planner Leigh who makes it all seem so easy   http://www.palmhouse.com/

A Rabbi and a Minister share an Interfaith Ceremony- How Magical

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    As a Rabbi  I was asked by the bride to officiate at her affirmation of vows almost a year ago.  She had already been married civilly and was living with her now husband in Long Island.  They took it upon themselves to get married and be independent of family but were ready now for a larger, more public ceremony.  The bride had been raised in a Jewish home and was looking to get in touch with her roots.  The groom (shown here) was of Christian background.  Indeed the other officiant was a minister who had a parish in Long Island.

     The couple came to my apartment a few times and we spoke about the ceremony and Judaism.  I ended up giving her a menorah and Kiddish cup to help them celebrate the holidays.  They were most appreciative and were counting the days to the big event.  I arrived and met with the other officiant.  He had done very few interfaith ceremonies and was very warm and accepting of my taking the lead.  He was going to do a reading, blessing of the rings, and a benediction.  But his manner was open and I felt that we were of the same mind and had much commonality of purpose and spirit.  Indeed as the ceremony continued he and I were helping one another and people later remarked it seemed as if we had worked together before

     As a rabbi that frequently co-officiates, this wedding embodied the best of both faiths with a minister who was reaching out to make all involved  feel comfortable.  He didn’t view this as a competition but as a sign of love and commitment to the couple and to me.   That is how I felt it was truly magical.

     Peace and Blessings to you   Rabbi Gloria

A Televised Happily Ever After Interfaith Marriage

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    I officiated at a marriage this past fall in Long Island which was hastily arranged and fraught with anxiety.  The bride came from NYC and was a product of a religious Jewish household.  The groom hailed from the end of Long Island and was raised in the Christian tradition.  The socioeconomic aspects of the marriage were different as well. 

    I met with both sets of parents as well as the couple and set about creating a service that would respect both backgrounds .  Everyone  involved was quite nervous to make sure everything came out smoothly and without any issues.  I assured them it would.

Click here to go to the ABC website -scroll down to “Timtervention: Couples Who Beat the Odds”

    

    The night of the wedding the restaurant selected for the wedding was beautifully set up and all the friends and family invited showed up excited.  I conducted the service and made sure that both faiths were represented although  there was a strong Jewish structure to it.   Afterwards we all danced the hora together and gathered around the piano and sang  songs.  It was an intimate and beautiful affair.

      A few months later I received a call from the asst to the producer of The Revolution, a new ABC daytime show .  There was to be a segment airing on Valentine’s Day that would deal with interfaith marriages that ended happily ever after and I was selected as an interfaith officiant to pick some couples I had worked with that would appear on the show.   The above couple was eager to appear and sure enough the taping went well.

     I watched the show a few weeks later and there they were, my couple telling their story on network television.  It was incredible.  They talked about overcoming the objections of their families and how their love and devotion to one another carried the day.   The hosts did a make over of the bride and I was thrilled to see the before and after.  She was given new clothes, make up and a new hip image.  Her husband  was ecstatic and said how happy both of them were to appear nationwide to tell their story.  

     I can only wish them and all my couples the best of luck for the future in a challenging situation which they have worked hard to make a success.

Click here for The Revolution, February 14th 2012 – scroll down to the video entitled Timtervention: Couples Who Beat the Odds, Part 1

 

 

      

 

       

My Most Famous Royal Wedding

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Two doctors, one from South Africa, the other born in Bulgaria met in New York and were married this summer at the Boat House in Central Park.  It was a story book wedding with the  bride looking model like in her Vera Wang and the groom handsome and admiring her.  Relatives from both countries were there and we had written the service with both the Jewish and the Greek Orthodox traditions represented.

In the Jewish religion the bride and groom are considered king and queen for the day of their marriage.  Guests are obliged to entertain them and make sure they are enjoying this special event.  In European  small towns the bride was carried in a chair from her home to the courtyard where she was married.  Thus the raising the bride and groom on chairs as if they were royalty.

In the Greek Orthodox tradition the ceremony involves crowning.  Again, the concept of the king and queen is created  by placing crowns of flowers on the heads of the couple.  At this wedding the parents of the groom did the crowning and it was most touching. Following that crowning the groom’s father gave a blessing which was magical.  The couple had their own table where guests would toast them and give homage to the king and queen in between dancing to live music that kept everyone on the dance floor.