Rabbi Gloria

Independent NYC Rabbi: Destination Weddings · Interfaith Weddings · Jewish Weddings

Ceremonies

A Beautiful Jewish Wedding – Of My Best Friend’s Daughter!

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       I recently officiated at the Jewish wedding of a bride who is the daughter of close friends of mine, going back 35 years. When I first met the bride, a day after she was born in 1984 at NY Hospital, I was looking at her through the glass window in the baby nursery. She has long been a part of the fabric of my family’s life and is just two years older than my son. He used to enjoy playing with an ”older woman!”

   I watched her through her childhood, adolescence and college years. She was always a woman of definite opinions. Everyone admired her spunk and confidence even for one so young. She started dating a military man and it turned out he had been deployed to Iraq twice. She ended up enlisting in the reserves herself and goes once a month to an army base for her commitment. I got to know him over their several years together and grew to appreciate his sensitivity, loyalty to her, and his quiet confidence. They decided to marry and asked me to officiate.

   Seeing them together is a study in complimentary attributes. She bubbles over with enthusiasm and energy and he looks at her in sheer amazement, but is beaming. Together they support and compliment one another. When I spend time with them I feel uplifted by their loving and easy relationship.

 

   The wedding was at the Brooklyn Botanical Garden the first weekend of June. The night before and even into the early morning the rains came. But two hours before the service the sky cleared and it turned into a picture-perfect June day. They did the wedding in the open air, as was the traditional Jewish custom and they had a lovely chamber music trio setting the tone.

     It was the first wedding I conducted where I felt I might be in tears throughout because of the closeness to the family. But because the bride bounded down the aisle, all smiles and beaming I took my cues from her and didn’t lose it.

   Her father, however, was crying throughout the service . He ended up delivering the benediction which is done at the end of every Jewish service. It was so very touching. Afterwards the reception was warm and filled with music and love. My son and his girlfriend came in from out of town for the event. I felt like I had everyone who loved me around to celebrate this wonderful event.

 

Check out the wedding planner Leigh who makes it all seem so easy   http://www.palmhouse.com/

A Rabbi and a Minister share an Interfaith Ceremony- How Magical

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    As a Rabbi  I was asked by the bride to officiate at her affirmation of vows almost a year ago.  She had already been married civilly and was living with her now husband in Long Island.  They took it upon themselves to get married and be independent of family but were ready now for a larger, more public ceremony.  The bride had been raised in a Jewish home and was looking to get in touch with her roots.  The groom (shown here) was of Christian background.  Indeed the other officiant was a minister who had a parish in Long Island.

     The couple came to my apartment a few times and we spoke about the ceremony and Judaism.  I ended up giving her a menorah and Kiddish cup to help them celebrate the holidays.  They were most appreciative and were counting the days to the big event.  I arrived and met with the other officiant.  He had done very few interfaith ceremonies and was very warm and accepting of my taking the lead.  He was going to do a reading, blessing of the rings, and a benediction.  But his manner was open and I felt that we were of the same mind and had much commonality of purpose and spirit.  Indeed as the ceremony continued he and I were helping one another and people later remarked it seemed as if we had worked together before

     As a rabbi that frequently co-officiates, this wedding embodied the best of both faiths with a minister who was reaching out to make all involved  feel comfortable.  He didn’t view this as a competition but as a sign of love and commitment to the couple and to me.   That is how I felt it was truly magical.

     Peace and Blessings to you   Rabbi Gloria

A Televised Happily Ever After Interfaith Marriage

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    I officiated at a marriage this past fall in Long Island which was hastily arranged and fraught with anxiety.  The bride came from NYC and was a product of a religious Jewish household.  The groom hailed from the end of Long Island and was raised in the Christian tradition.  The socioeconomic aspects of the marriage were different as well. 

    I met with both sets of parents as well as the couple and set about creating a service that would respect both backgrounds .  Everyone  involved was quite nervous to make sure everything came out smoothly and without any issues.  I assured them it would.

Click here to go to the ABC website -scroll down to “Timtervention: Couples Who Beat the Odds”

    

    The night of the wedding the restaurant selected for the wedding was beautifully set up and all the friends and family invited showed up excited.  I conducted the service and made sure that both faiths were represented although  there was a strong Jewish structure to it.   Afterwards we all danced the hora together and gathered around the piano and sang  songs.  It was an intimate and beautiful affair.

      A few months later I received a call from the asst to the producer of The Revolution, a new ABC daytime show .  There was to be a segment airing on Valentine’s Day that would deal with interfaith marriages that ended happily ever after and I was selected as an interfaith officiant to pick some couples I had worked with that would appear on the show.   The above couple was eager to appear and sure enough the taping went well.

     I watched the show a few weeks later and there they were, my couple telling their story on network television.  It was incredible.  They talked about overcoming the objections of their families and how their love and devotion to one another carried the day.   The hosts did a make over of the bride and I was thrilled to see the before and after.  She was given new clothes, make up and a new hip image.  Her husband  was ecstatic and said how happy both of them were to appear nationwide to tell their story.  

     I can only wish them and all my couples the best of luck for the future in a challenging situation which they have worked hard to make a success.

Click here for The Revolution, February 14th 2012 – scroll down to the video entitled Timtervention: Couples Who Beat the Odds, Part 1

 

 

      

 

       

My Most Famous Royal Wedding

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Two doctors, one from South Africa, the other born in Bulgaria met in New York and were married this summer at the Boat House in Central Park.  It was a story book wedding with the  bride looking model like in her Vera Wang and the groom handsome and admiring her.  Relatives from both countries were there and we had written the service with both the Jewish and the Greek Orthodox traditions represented.

In the Jewish religion the bride and groom are considered king and queen for the day of their marriage.  Guests are obliged to entertain them and make sure they are enjoying this special event.  In European  small towns the bride was carried in a chair from her home to the courtyard where she was married.  Thus the raising the bride and groom on chairs as if they were royalty.

In the Greek Orthodox tradition the ceremony involves crowning.  Again, the concept of the king and queen is created  by placing crowns of flowers on the heads of the couple.  At this wedding the parents of the groom did the crowning and it was most touching. Following that crowning the groom’s father gave a blessing which was magical.  The couple had their own table where guests would toast them and give homage to the king and queen in between dancing to live music that kept everyone on the dance floor.

My Most Famous Boat Basin Wedding

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A New York City couple decided to get married at the 79th St Boat Basin in October. We met together a number of times and I was lucky enough to be cooked dinner by the groom who runs a catering company. It was divine. The day of the wedding was sunny but cold and the ceremony was outdoors overlooking the Hudson. Since many of the parent’s friends were from Florida they were very cold so I was urged to start the ceremony promptly. The only problem was that the area around the chuppah was public space that the public used to get to Riverside Park. They would run or bike and many people passed by in various types of gym clothes with bikes. We had to prevail upon a security person to make sure that they could oblige us for 25 minutes and walk around the other direction so that our ceremony was not disturbed by interested onlookers. Everyone obliged and was wonderful. The groom was busy supervising the catering as well as attending to his bride so he was the master of multi tasking. The most amazing chuppah was provided by a grandmother. This was in the family for 150 years and was originally from Canada. How magical to stand under it even if it was cold. We all went inside after the glass was broken where there were many heat lamps and wonderful food

My Most Famous Beauty and the Bus Wedding

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I was to officiate at the Brooklyn Botanic Garden this past summer and the bride and groom planned all months ahead. We worked on the service, saw their apartment and even met with both sets of parents beforehand. The day of the wedding arrived and the night was magical. The Brooklyn Botanic garden was filled with roses and the ceremony was to be held in a lovely grassy area in a grove of trees. The family had arranged to have two buses transport the guests from hotels in lower New York. The first bus arrived and groups of people stood admiring the beautiful scene sipping champagne and listening to the strains of chamber music. We soon got wind of the fact that the second bus was in a fender bender in Chinatown and had to wait for the police to show up to the accident. Meanwhile the venue planner told us that we had to start the ceremony soon as there were no lights set up- the original ceremony was to have taken place before sunset. We waited and finally the bus arrived- the people scurried to their seats and I began. By the time the service was 3/4 finished the area was pitch black but I was able to read with the help of the videographer who had his light shine on me. The groom broke the glass- mazel tovs were exchanged and we all looked up at a perfect full moon that illuminated the beautiful scene.

My Most Famous NY Townhouse Wedding

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Many of us who have lived in NYC for years are always looking for the new experience, the street we may ever have walked down, etc.  The Lotus Club, a private former Vanderbilt mansion was one such experience for me.  A couple contacted me and said that venue was where they wanted to hold the wedding.  It began as a writer’s club in the late 1800’s with such members as Mark Twain. Later a Vanderbilt purchased the museum for her daughter as a wedding gift.

The couple met with me a number of times and planned a magical wedding.  The groom was  raised Jewish and the bride Catholic.  I was co-officiating with a Franciscan priest dressed up in a Friar Tuck looking brown robe with hood.  It is amazing how rituals can have a  commonality  in the religions when you look into it.  The prayer that Aaron the  high priest used to bless the Jewish people “May god bless and keep you…” was adopted by the Catholic church and often said at the end of mass

We entered a grand hallway in this mansion and looked up to see a magnificent Tiffany window.  The room we signed the Ketubah and civil license was a wooden paneled library with massive chairs and mahogany table.  The ceremonial room was elegant and one could think many magical dinner parties were held there.  In attending the reception I was taken back in time to the grandeur of the 1890’s and the elegance of the Vanderbilts.

My Most Famous Baseball Town Rainstorm

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I had been engaged to officiate at a destination wedding in Cooperstown New York this past June. The couple had met at a college reunion and were totally delightful. The bride’s parents met at a Harvard Princeton football game- the father Jewish American and the mother Ecuadorian Catholic. They were holding this wedding in the town that is known to all baseball fans as holding the Baseball Hall of Fame.

I visited the entire family at the parent’s home in New Jersey and was welcomed in a warm gracious way, served a delicious brunch and given a tour of the father’s fabulous antique collection in their amazing Victorian house.  The couple and I met in Boston several months later to write the service. (I coincidentally was going there for Thanksgiving and that is where they lived and worked.) We met again in NYC so this was a three state affair.

The day before the wedding I arrived at Cooperstown and toured the Baseball Hall of Fame .  The weather was  a picture perfect cloudless blue sky.  The ceremony the next day was due to be outdoors on a grassy lawn overlooking a magnificent lake.  All preparations were perfect except for a good weather forecast.  We had the rehearsal dinner and enjoyed the clear night sky filled with stars.

The day of the wedding dawned cloudy and showery.  The wedding planner at the venue said they were going to decide on outdoor or indoor (involving a large tent) at 3pm.  When that time arrived with no rain they proceeded to set up the chairs outside.  Of course the inevitable happened- as soon as the procession was over the soft rain came.

What an unusual sight- the wedding party and myself under the chuppah and a sea of umbrellas  in every color of the rainbow in front of me.  A kaleidoscope of color.  As I proceeded with the service we used an Ecuadorian custom of well wishers from the family coming up to give blessings similar to the Sheva Brachot in the Jewish religion.

A s  the groom was putting his foot down to break the glass the heavens opened up.  A deluge in response to the Mazel Tov and everyone made a run for the tent.  Ironically one of the poems I had decided to use was a native American poem entitled “Now there will be no rain.” Little did I know how appropriate this would end up being.

 

My Most Famous Musical Wedding

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I officiated at a wedding of a couple at the Grammercy Park Hotel in NYC in May of this year which was a spectacular event on many levels. The couple picked the rooftop garden which has a retractable roof and several rooms with couches and comfortable chairs.  The bride felt that after the ceremony she wanted people to mingle and not be forced to sit at designated tables. That set the tone for the night along with the beauty of the city skyline.

Music was important to both of them. The grooms’s day job was in the IT business which took him to London and Washington D.C. frequently. But he played the saxophone and his passion was jazz-older jazz from the 30’s, 40’s and 50’s. He played with many groups and scattered among the guests in the audience were jazz musicians each with an unusual story. Indeed, the music prior to the ceremony was recorded vintage Ella Fitzgerald and Billie Holiday.

The bride among her many amazing jobs had been Puff Daddy’s assistant before he changed his name.  She loved salsa music and was a great dancer as well.  Before the ceremony started they had a female gospel singer perform one of the bride’s favorite songs.  This  was the start of a memorable and musical night.